Even In Heaven II: Saints' Scourge
by I Fancy Hugh Dancy
Summary: In Boston, more obstacles threaten to tear Lourdes and Murphy apart. With new revelations, will they be able to distinguish ally from foe, or will their newfound friends be their downfall? Murphy/OC. Featuring The Black Donnellys. Rating: T-MA.
1. Shipping Up To Boston

** EVEN IN HEAVEN II: SAINTS' SCOURGE **

**Written by:** Lourdes, a.k.a. **I Fancy Hugh Dancy**

3 3 3

_**"Boston"**_

_**By: Augustana**_

_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun  
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,  
This world you must've crossed_

_You said_

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
She said  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains_

_Ooh yeah,_

_Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across  
An open field,  
When flowers gaze at you they're not the only ones who cry  
When they see you  
You said_

_You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
She said  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains, oh yeah_

_She said I think I'll go to Boston  
I think I'll start a new life,  
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,  
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,  
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain_

_I think I'll go to Boston,  
I think that I'm just tired  
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind  
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,  
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah_

_You don't know me, you don't even care_

_Boston, where no one knows my name, yeah  
Where no one knows my name  
Where no one knows my name  
Yeah Boston  
Where no one knows my name._

3 3 3

**Rating: **T – MA for violence, language and adult situations.

**Genre:** Romance/Drama/Action/Crime

**Summary: **As Lourdes begins her new life in Boston, more obstacles threaten to tear her and Murphy apart. When a revelation shakes the MacManus family to its core, will they be able to distinguish ally from foe, or will their newfound "friends" be their downfall? Murphy/OC. Featuring "The Black Donnellys".

**Influences:** The Boondock Saints (naturally); The Black Donnellys; Snatch; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; Brotherhood.

**Disclaimer: **This story is pure fanfiction. People, places and names have been altered to fit into the plot. I do not own the Saints, any of the recognizable characters from the film or the Black Donnellys. I own Lourdes and various other stock characters that appear in the story.

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! I'm back, and so are Murphy and Lourdes! This is the sequel to **"Even In Heaven"**. Although this can be read on its own, it's always good to get a background on the characters and the current situations, so this will make more sense if you've read the first installment. Other Boondock Saints fics that I've written: **"Path To Sainthood"** (Connor/OC), **"Into The Dark"** (Murphy-centric, Murphy/OC), and** "Till Death Do Us Part"** (OneShot), so check those out if you have the time!

Also, if you haven't heard of show "The Black Donnellys", it's one of the best cancelled shows ever, in my opinion. Watching a few episodes will probably help you picture and characterize the Donnelly brothers, which will definitely be useful for this story.

I would love to hear from anyone and everyone. Any comments, questions, corrections, constructive criticism, suggestions and encouragement are welcome and appreciated!

3 3 3

**Chapter 1: Shipping Up To Boston**

3 3 3

_**"Signal Fire"**_

_**By: Snow Patrol**_

_The perfect words never crossed my mind,  
Cause there was nothin' in there but you.  
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,  
But the sound was trapped deep in me.  
All I wanted just sped right past me,  
While I was rooted fast to the earth,  
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,  
Without your arms to drag me out. _

_There you are standing right in front of me  
There you are standing right in front of me  
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,  
Hold me close, cause I need you to guide me to safety._

_No, I don't want to wait forever._

_In the confusion and the aftermath,  
You are my signal fire.  
The only resolution and the only joy,  
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes. _

_No, I don't want to wait forever._

3 3 3

As my eyes drifted towards the midnight sky of South Boston, the quiet rumblings of a coming storm threatened in the distance. Thunderclaps zigzagged through the velvet blanket that covered the entire city as winds menacingly pushed the objects below to and fro. But despite the gloomy atmosphere that surrounded me, I wasn't in the least bit bothered. Standing peacefully upon the balcony of my modest apartment, my attention was kept – rather, held captive – by the glint of the diamond ring that wrapped around my dainty finger. Ball and chain, it has been called in good humour. Though in my eyes, it represented my freedom, my deepest desires, and the happiness that I had been waiting for my entire life – literally.

It represented Murphy MacManus.

"Lourdes, would ye _please_ help me find some o' me clothes, 'ere? Although it may make _ye_ all hot and bothered, me runnin' 'round in me birthday suit ain't gonna make any o' yer peepin' neighbours happy, now will it?" Murphy paused thoughtfully for a brief moment, then, with a shrug, mused to himself, "Well, maybe excludin' Steve on the third floor. Ya know, that guy's been fuckin' comin' on ta me for_ weeks_! Have I ever told ye that?" With more rummaging and light cursing as a result from stubbed toes on the coffee table, he continued on his quest to find, in the least bit to salvage a bit of decency, his underpants.

Aye, that was the man I loved; the man I was going to marry in less than a year.

His continuous mumblings finally managed to grab hold of my attention, encouraging me to sigh in amusement and shake my head. Poking my head through the sliding glass doors to survey the main room of my new home, I caught the sight of Murphy's faint silhouette, covering every inch of the apartment as the search for clothes seemingly went unsuccessfully. Clearing my throat, I suggested mockingly, "Darlin', maybe it would help if you turned the lights _on_ before you start looking? You're ruining all of my furniture!"

Murphy stopped in his tracks at this exclamation, then blinked in surprise. Pointing a guilty finger in my direction, he cried, "Yer _furniture_ is ruining _me_!" Scoffing, he crossed his arms tightly upon his chest in the unpleasant manner of a five-year-old, holding up his chin with eternal pride. He declared with steadfast conviction whilst pursing his lips, "And I can't seem ta find the light switch."

Murphy MacManus, a Saint of South Boston: lethal with an arsenal of guns, knives and rope, though unable to find a simple light switch.

Boston - for a lack of a better, more _polite_ term - is _fucked_.

Stepping into the room as I slid the glass doors closed behind me, I made my way past the disgruntled, and yet proud, Irishman, shaking my head in mock disappointment. Finally discovering the problem, I exclaimed in bemused exasperation, "It's no wonder you couldn't find the switch – your bloody shirt's covering it!"

Murphy instantaneously snapped his fingers at my proclamation, then pointed at me with a nod. "I knew that."

_**Flashback**_

_"So are ye all packed and ready ta go, dear?"_

_I twisted my head towards the sound of Ma MacManus' solemn, yet optimistic voice. Meeting her twinkling, bright-blue orbs, I threw her a small smile in response as I zipped closed the last of my luggage. "Aye, just about ready to go, Ma. That's the last of my things, I believe."_

_She crossed her arms lightly in front of her as she thoroughly observed me, lightly shaking her head. "Ye know, yer parents are still tryin' ta convince ye not ta go, aye? They haven't given me Murph a break for the past week or so! Seems like the closer we get ta the date o' yer flight, the more they complain." She cocked her head towards the nearby nightstand, declaring with raised eyebrows, "Ye should hear all o' the messages they left on the bloody answering machine. They sound like they'll never see ye again or somethin'!"_

_Letting out a small giggle, I nodded in complete understanding, reminiscing about the non-stop barrages from my parents about staying put in Dublin. Whether it was agitation, worry, or complete sadness, the emotions that they felt were so strong that, even on the date of my departure, they continued to try and persuade me – along with Murphy as well – to stay. "I need a change," I told them months before the flight, reasoning, "and I think this is the right one for me."_

_And I truly believed, deep down to the depths of my being, that it was._

_My reverie was interrupted by the feeling of Murphy's arms wrapping around me from behind. Smiling as I felt his warm lips kiss the side of my neck, I twisted my head to face him, nuzzling his nose with my own. "Are you finally ready, darling? You take longer than I do to pack!"_

_"Couldn't fit my shite in the suitcase." He simply shrugged, moving with a nonchalant gait as he easily lifted my belongings. "Connor had ta stand on it while I used duct tape ta get it closed."_

_I blinked in bewilderment, eyes slightly shifting from side to side. I reiterated unsurely, "Um…you used…duct tape?"_

_"Aye. The staples wouldn't work, so we resorted ta that." Another complacent shrug. "Pretty clever, I think."_

_My disappointed groan was interrupted by Connor's call through the main door. Ensuing to round us all up before we missed our flight, my soon-to-be brother-in-law animatedly shooed Murphy and me outside, grabbing the rest of our belongings and shoving them as tightly as possible into their car. Ma immediately strode to her husband's side, who was already at the wheel, as Connor took the front seat and I joined Murphy at the back._

_As Murphy rolled down his window, Ma instantly took a hold of his nose, giving it a light pinch. "Now ye take care o' her, ye hear, boy?" Even though Murphy gave her an obedient nod, she continued her chiding, "If ye don't, yer not only gonna get a beatin' from 'er parents, but from me as well!"_

_Crawling over Murphy with a laugh, I embraced Ma one last time through the open window, now feeling a bit saddened by our departure. "And you take care of yourself while we're gone, Ma. I promise we'll visit soon."_

_**End Flashback**_

Murphy MacManus really had not changed one bit. Even after our reunion almost half a year prior, after over ten years of not seeing or even contacting one another, he was still the same ol' Murphy in my eyes. The trials and tribulations that I had undergone over the past few months with a dick of an ex-boyfriend and, as a whole, the Irish mob based in Dublin, had not been the easiest situations to deal with. Needless to say, the revelations of the returned Mr. MacManus and the Saints in general had not been one easy pill to swallow. Though, as time went on, I slowly began to feel that pill's effects; it was not one of sedation, but that of understanding and, somewhat, mild acceptance. I continued to refuse to be involved in any of it, though: the planning, the stake-outs, and the hits. It works out rather well, for neither Murphy nor his family _allow _me to become involved again. Nor would I ever want to, for that matter. Though as much as I hated to admit it to the MacManuses, even Murphy's continuing compassion, kindness and love didn't dissuade me from always worrying and praying for their safe return. Murphy was a friend – a _fiancée_, for Christ's sake – and all it took was a scrape or a bump on any part of his body to trigger my traumatic memories about his "job". Would I ever be able to muster the courage to actually ask him to…_quit_?

_Would_ he ever quit?

The feeling of Murphy's sturdy, warm arms slinking around my waist brought me back to reality. Completely confident, he declared without a hint of question, "Ye have that distant, thoughtful look in yer pretty eyes again." He began to delicately nuzzle my ear and cheek with his nose, then rested his smooth chin upon my shoulder. "Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"

"You." I answered truthfully with a small smile, wrapping my arms around his smooth neck as I turned to fully face him. Eyes conspicuously sweeping through his bare body, I corrected with a pleased smile, "Us."

He cocked a brow in question, lips pursed in mischievous inquiry. "Is that a euphemism for, 'Oi, Murph, let's have sex again'? Because if it is…"

"Murphy!" I lightly scolded in good humour, mouth slightly apart at his predictably unabashed behaviour. "You _really_ don't stop, do you?"

"Oi," he gave me a shrug, gingerly tracing his slick lips upon the side of my exposed neck, "Ye _know_ that the only reason why I ain't livin' with ye is because neither o' us would do _anythin'_ productive with our lives…well, in the socially practical sense o' the term. Admit it, Lou." Grazing his lips upon the side of my ear, he whispered in sheer seduction, "Ye enjoy every moment of coital bliss as I do. Probably even more, ye sex kitten, ye."

Waves of shivers ran up and down my spine as the sound of his voice filled my very being. _How the bloody hell does he manage to affect me like this? _Peering into his steel-blue, twinkling orbs, I replied proudly, "Damn straight, MacManus! You know my life would be _incomplete_ without tussles in the sack with you!"

In response, his body entirely shook with a mirthful laugh, that innocent smile of his reaching his eyes. "This is why I love ye." Suddenly jerking me towards him so that our bodies lightly collided, he whispered hoarsely, eyes on fire, "Looks like I won't be needing those clothes after all."

3 3 3

**A/N: How did you all like your Valentine's Day present? The new adventure is only beginning! If this completely sucked, please let me know. I'm trying to juggle writing in different styles and voices for a few fics of mine, so I just wanted to know if I had my "Even In Heaven" writing mojo back. I'd like to hear from all of you! So if you'd like to see me continue this story, let me know! xx IFHD**


	2. Starting Anew

**A/N: Hello my lovely readers! Hope you enjoyed the first teaser. First of all, thanks for giving this story a chance. I really appreciate it! Thanks to those who reviewed or saved this story: IrishSaints, GoddessLaughs, alandava, CrimsonKissMJ, Wolfjinx and curburdogg. **

**I will be mainly working on this story for now as I am getting major writer's block for "Into The Dark". I've been literally getting depressed from writing that story; I really empathize with my characters, and as a result of the subject matter & mood of the story and what I'm putting my characters through, I'm physically and emotionally feeling the effects. A bit crazy? Aye, probably.**

**Hope you enjoy this story, though. There is SO much more to come, and I have big, BIG plans! ...BIG!!! xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 2: Starting Anew**

3 3 3

_**"Collide"**_

_**By: Howie Day**_

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah_

_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide_

_I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

_Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind_

_You finally find  
You and I collide  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

3 3 3

I found myself waking to the sound of Murphy's soft breathing. Feeling his chest rhythmically rise and fall beneath the palm of my hand, I slightly turned my head to face his sleeping form, lovingly observing him. A small smile crept upon the side of his thin lips, eyes comfortably closed as he continued to dream. _This is perfection_, I thought, _something that only happened in movies and books. _

But this was real, and it was my reality.

Feeling a smile tugging at my own lips, I delicately kissed the tip of his nose, pulling the covers from my form. Grasping a nearby bathrobe that hung upon the arm of a nearby chair, I placed it on, attention still drawn to Murphy. As he felt the bed shift and heard it slightly creak, the pleased expression on his countenance quickly changed, a wrinkled expression now replacing it. Groaning, Murphy then awoke, half rolling upon the bed as his eyes fluttered open. With his gaze immediately landing upon my form, he threw me a professionally-executed pout, one that would put _any_ child to shame. Gently patting the empty space beside him, he declared in a sing-song voice, "The bed's feelin' kinda cold, love. Why don't ye come and warm it up a lil bit?"

Hovering over the bed and proceeding to nuzzle his nose with my own, I stated with a frown, "I'd love to, sweetheart, but I have work in an hour. You know how crazy traffic is around here, and I really can't afford to be late _again_!"

He merely gave me a dismissive shrug, clearly unphased by my reasons. "Just call in sick."

I raised a stern eyebrow, authoritatively crossing my arms upon my chest. "Like I have a million times?"

"…Aye?"

Unable to withstand his pleading, puppy-dog-like gaze, I let out a sigh of exasperation, willing to compromise with the persuasive Irishman. Kissing his ear, then trailing my lips down his neck and chest, I felt him smile, warming to my ministrations. Though, before he could take me in his grasp once more, I quickly pulled away and strolled towards the bathroom. "Unlike _your_ job, bub, _I_ don't make the rules. I actually have a _time_ when I have to be at work, you know!" Peeking my head out of the bathroom door as I turned on the faucet, I continued as-a-matter-of-factly, "Besides, I'll see you in less than nine hours, anyway. Not too long to wait, is it?"

Rolling to his side, Murphy propped up an elbow, leaning his head upon an open palm. Gaze seductively sweeping up and down my form, he lightly snarled, even baring teeth for effect, "Tease."

I forced myself not to burst out in complete laughter at his disgruntled expression. Making a move to unrobe myself, I observed his eyes twinkle in delighted expectancy. His head instinctively perked up as I began to slide the sleeves of my nightgown down my shoulders, lifting the fabric from my chest. "There's more where where _that_ came from, darlin'."

Then, without another word, I shut the door, wholly muffling Murphy's exasperated moan.

3 3 3

"Nice work on the IRA report, Villamor! Top notch. Couldn't have expected better!"

The musical, baritone voice of my new editor and boss, Mr. Liam O'Keefe, sounded behind me without warning. Literally making me jump in my swivel chair, I placed a hand upon my chest to calm my erratically beating heart. Trying not to show on my expression that he had managed to scare the living shit out of me by just appearing and saying a few words of congratulations, I nonchalantly cleared my throat, then took a deep breath before I turned to face him. "T-thank you, sir," I replied in a calm and collected manner, giving him a nod to exhibit my utmost gratitude, "I guess actually living in Dublin all my life helped with the information. It wasn't too difficult to complete."

"You're too damn modest, sport."

_Sport?_ I suddenly felt as though I were six again.

…And male.

His arse's sudden descent upon my table encouraged me to sit up straight, alert. Placing a hand upon his knee, his eyes narrowed into a squint, his mind conjuring up a magnificent plan. Repeatedly wagging his finger at me as he completed his silent deductions, he began slowly, "I knew that I wasn't mistaken when I first hired you, Villamor. You're exactly the fresh blood that this Irish Embassy needs! You actually grew up in Ireland, for one," he stated a bit sardonically with a complacent shrug, "and that's always an advantage 'round here." Crossing his arms in front of him, he continued to wear his thoughtful expression, forehead crinkling as though he was having difficulty _thinking_. "I think I'll give you the assignment."

"What assignment, sir?" I questioned curiously, head slightly tilting to the side.

"The newest reports about the Irish Mob here in Boston."

_Son of a…_

For the few days that I've been at this ambassadorial office, the IRA report has been the only assignment given to me by O'Keefe. Though updating files and periodically reporting on issues concerning the Irish Embassy wasn't difficult, as the predecessors of this particular job have warned me, sometimes one can know _too much_ information. Coupled with my past experiences with an Irish mob, and a very influential one at that, it wasn't perplexing that I felt a bit queasy and was more than a little hesitant about this new assignment. "What exactly about the Irish mob, sir?"

He heaved a long, dragged sigh. Placing his fingers upon his temples, he began to explain, "For all of the years that I've been here – don't try to guess how many – the Irish Embassy has been dealing with the Irish mob based here in Boston. It was easy for them to infiltrate our staff, I mean, with all the connections that they have and whatnot." He continuously circled his hand in front of him as he made his points. "They'd use these moles to allow other members of the mob, wherever they may be, to illegally immigrate into the country. It has only been in the past couple of years that they seemed to have died down, 'pulling out their troops', so to speak." He clenched his fist in front of him, as though crushing a poor insect. "We need to know _why_."

"New leadership," I suggested right off the bat, continuing to run through possibilities in my head. "Maybe getting people _in_ isn't as important now." The next possibility that crossed my mind heightened my fears. "Or maybe they're satisfied with their numbers and are concentrating on domestic growth and domination."

O'Keefe repeatedly pointed at me, overtly excited and utterly stimulated by my deductions. "See, now _this _is why I want you on this assignment! Find out all you can, Villamor, but whatever you do, _do not_ get involved. Simply report what's going on without fraternizing with any of the mob, whoever they may be."

_Too late!_

With a slight pause, he concluded morosely, "Your life may depend on it."

I knew, by the tone of his voice, that I wasn't in any form to protest or refuse. He wasn't offering this assignment to me; I was being _given_ the assignment, and it was either do it or be fired. _Murphy and Connor won't be happy about _this, I thought with a groan.

When I said nothing further, O'Keefe disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. Rubbing my forehead with the tips of my fingers, I finally decided that I needed a break. A _long_ one. Research on the Irish mob wouldn't be blatant suicide, no, but what about the emotional impact of the job? I've had a few months to lick my wounds and recover, but that didn't automatically mean that the wounds didn't _exist_. Maybe I could enlist the help of the Saints for this one, to make sure that my nose wouldn't be prying into places where it shouldn't be?

I was so engrossed in thought that I had not paid attention to any of my surroundings while walking through the office. As I turned the corner towards the main lobby, I immediately bumped into a figure stepping out from the middle elevator. The impact wasn't hard, but it was enough to send his belongings – and mine, for that matter – plummeting towards the tiled floor.

"Oh, shit, sorry about that!" The man began in earnest apology, immediately bending over to frantically gather our belongings in his arms. He groaned, "I'm unlucky _and_ clumsy, and the two of those don't really make a good mix."

Following his lead and helping to retrieve our belongings, I managed to eye the male stranger, curious to hear a New York accent in this part of Boston. His dark-blonde, spiked hair curled at the tips, eyes as green as precious emeralds. Between his heavily defined cheekbones was a strong, pointed noise and thin, pink lips. Looking as though he was in his late twenties, he continued to have a sense of boyish innocence about him, awkwardly straddling between teenager and a grown adult. Feeling as though he was harmless enough, I shook my head and smiled, "No harm done. It was my fault, anyway. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Dublin accent. I like it." He threw me a crooked, knowing grin as we simultaneously stood. "And I could probably make a sexual innuendo at this point, but I don't think we know each other well enough for that yet."

I cocked a brow as though challenging him, completely used to this sort of teasing thanks to my lovely fiancée. "'Yet' implies we're going to get to know each other _more_, does it not?"

Seemingly taken aback by my response, his eyes grew wide in simultaneous surprise and question. "Um…was _that_ a sexual innuendo or somethin'?" Scratching his head unsurely with one hand as he firmly extended another, he introduced himself. "Kevin."

I gingerly took his outstretched hand, giving it a firm shake. "Lourdes."

"Look, Lourdes," he continued a bit hurriedly at this point, placing the strap of his bag upon his right shoulder, "maybe bumping into you wasn't so bad." His observant orbs scanned above my head, then rested upon my own once more. "Could you possibly help me find a Mr. Liam O'Keefe 'round here?"

"Sure, no problem." With a quick nod to the side, I replied in a curious tone, "His office is just down that corridor right there. Follow the signs, you won't miss it."

"Thanks." A winsome smile appeared on his strong face, the seriousness in his eyes momentarily dissipating. With a quick nod, he blurted before taking off, "It was nice meeting you!"

"You too…" I trailed off, seeing that he was already haphazardly zigzagging down the corridor and surprisingly not colliding with anyone. Shrugging in lighthearted dismissal, I exited the building and began to make my way towards the line of coffee shops on the adjacent street. Whistling a merry Irish tune, I smiled to myself, thoughts now preoccupied with Murphy. With the brief encounter momentarily forgotten, I grinned impishly to myself as I thought of the lovely weekend that Murphy and I had planned together. It's been a while since we've had an entire weekend – an entire _day_, even – to ourselves, so I was definitely looking forward to our getaway, however short it may be.

Finally deciding to sit at an outdoor café called _Deoch_, I placed my belongings upon the glass table, making myself comfortable for the afternoon. Sifting through the disheveled papers, I began to re-organize them, flipping pages and rearranging the folders. It was then that a curious-looking file caught my eye. Prying the crumpled, grey folder from the middle of the pile, I began to look through it, slowly flipping through the pages. Furrowing my brows, I realized that what I held before me was an entire folder dedicated to the Saints – newspaper articles, various confidential reports, and even _photographs_ – all sequentially organized by both time _and_ place. With narrowed eyes, my suspicious gaze immediately landed upon the Irish Embassy building behind me.

If this folder wasn't mine, then I sure as hell knew who it belonged to.

3 3 3

**A/N: What did you all think of that? Again, I'm trying to adjust to this tone/writing style again, so I hope it was okay. I hope this whole "setting up the story" deal in the first few chapters isn't boring! I'm not one to rush stories, as some of you may know. But what do you think will happen? Cheers! xx IFHD**


	3. More Introductions

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for all of your patience. I just finished a 40-page paper and have a couple more to do, but I **_**will**_** keep working on this whenever I can! Judging from the hits, you all seem to be reading, so I'm happy about that. I was a bit nervous about doing a Boondock Saints/Black Donnellys crossover, since I haven't seen one of those around, but you all seem to share my optimism! Thanks to those who reviewed: alandava, ThePowerPanda, moviemaniac07, ivyshortcake. In response to the reviews, this story will be after the BD series and will be AU. I will try to keep the boys in character as much as I possibly can! Well, onwards with the story. Enjoy! xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 3: More Introductions**

3 3 3

_**"Different"**_

_**By: Acceptance**_

_Tell myself on the ride home  
Getting tired, hating all I've known  
Holding on like it's all I have  
Count me out when it's clear that I  
find it hard to say  
And you find it hard to care._

_I wanted to see something that's different,  
something you said would change in me.  
Wanted to be anything different,  
everything you would change in me._

_Got this way, up front but never true.  
God, I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.  
Crashing down any chance you'll hear.  
Caving in any chance that you,  
could see inside of me.  
And I, I'll know what to say,  
It's fine, this isn't Hollywood.  
So fine, getting in your way._

_I'm taking a chance,  
this could be different.  
This could be all I'm waiting for.  
Taking a chance,  
this could be different.  
This could be all I'm waiting for._

_Something that's different._

3 3 3

Kevin was all I knew him by and nothing more. Did I really have a reason to be suspicious of him and his motives? At first glance, my instincts had not warned me of any danger in his presence, after all. Though the question still remained unanswered: why would he have files about and even expository photographs of the Saints in his possession? I forced myself to fight off paranoia and downright worry for the next few days, to think logically about this situation. In all fairness, he _could_ just be a simple reporter just doing another story about the Saints. After all, that was a definite possibility and wouldn't be so out of the ordinary, for the Saints seemed to be a big hit for the Boston papers these days. Also, if he was at the Irish Embassy meeting with O'Keefe, that could definitely solidify that plausible reason. And yet…

"Hey Lou, don't ye think Connor needs ta find a _real _girlfriend?"

Connor menacingly snarled. "Oi, feck off, Murph!"

"No, really, Con." A snigger escaped from Murphy's thin lips as he mirthfully eyed his brother through the rearview mirror. "Why don't ye get yerself a fine, intelligent lass for _more than_ a month that'll…"

I began to exasperatedly blow my hair from my face in an exhibition of weariness as another round of bickering between the twins ensued. Unfortunately, I was caught in the crossfire once again. Fortunately the terrible twosome aren't _that_ plastered this afternoon! Thinking of plugging my ears as their tones began to rise and the ruthless shoving began, it was then that I felt Connor's arm slyly slink around my shoulders from the backseat of their car. With a triumphant expression, he declared with a smirk, "Invitation taken, Murph. I'll _gladly_ accept Lourdes ta be me girlfriend!"

At this point, Murphy's entire body fully turned to face his brother, leaving the oncoming traffic completely unattended. Pointing a steady finger at his cheeky twin's nose as his hands fully released the steering wheel, Murphy barked in unbridled upset, "Oi, ye dick, I'm still not o'er that shite ye pulled last year! Don't ye be talkin' 'bout gettin' with Lou that way again, or I'll rip yer fuckin'…"

As Connor threw his head back, unable to stop howling with laughter at the fact that he had managed to successfully push his twin's buttons _again_, I, on the other hand, squealed in complete fright, instinctively taking the free-turning steering wheel into my hands in order to steady the vehicle once more. Through screeching tired and blaring horns, I shrieked in utter distress, "Murphy, concentrate on the bloody road!" Blowing the hair from my face, I managed to thankfully steer the car away from oncoming traffic, saving _all_ of our bloody lives! Slightly turning to face Connor to ensure that he would hear my next statement, I rejoined sweetly, "You _know_ Connor's only jealous because he's sex-deprived!"

It was now Murphy's turn to burst out into uncontrollable chuckles, this time pointing at Connor in gleeful ridicule. Connor, however, abruptly stopped his laughter and ensued to narrow his eyes, alternately staring daggers at the both of us. He snarled in return, "Oi, I get as much action as the both o' ye horny rabbits!" Pursing his lips thoughtfully, his sapphire eyes then stared at the roof in contemplation. "Actually, there was this one woman I met the other day who was_ really_ good at…"

Already knowing what was in store for us, Murphy and I simultaneously cried out, placing our hands upon our ears in a futile attempt to shield them from Connor's_ descriptive _voice. With a groan, Murphy chided through squinted eyes, "Con, what the fuck did we say about sharin' _details_? Jaysus!"

"Aye, aye, but here's the thing!" The bewildered expression that subsequently lent itself to Connor's visage wholly disturbed me. Hands animatedly out in front of him, he continued, "The most _astonishin'_ part was when I flipped her over, she was still…"

I was highly relieved when Murphy halted the car in front of the Boston Police Department. Just as Connor was _really _getting into the gritty specifics of his latest sexcapade, I frantically stepped out into the sidewalk, desperately trying to block out the cheeky Irishman's voice. Turning my attention to the façade in front of me, I thought of the purpose of this visit to the Station instead and was then overcome with excitement. Thinking about everything that I've heard about them – the good _and_ the bad – I was nevertheless looking forward to meeting some of the twins' mates after so many weeks of living in Boston.

Entwining his fingers with my own, Murphy proceeded to lead me up the steps towards the entrance. The blabbering Connor trailed closely behind, still continuing to emphatically tell his tale. As we entered the main, front doors, I was taken aback to hear the chorus of cheers that greeted us. Meekly surveying the atrium of the station, about a dozen detectives and police officers lounged about their desks and chairs, all instantly beaming at the unexpected sight of the twins. Murphy held out an arm to his side, then ensued to pat the backs of the passing officers and shake each of their hands. Connor nodded to those who greeted him as he walked towards, I assumed, the Department's detectives.

I felt Murphy gently squeeze my hand after a few more greetings were thrown his way. "Oh, Lou, before I introduce ye ta everyone, I wanna show ye somethin' first."

The boyish smile that appeared on his countenance filled me with delighted expectancy. As I gave him a nod of acquiesce, we began to walk down a long, windowless hallway. I quickly surveyed my surroundings, finding myself completely at ease in this environment. Turning right at the corner, Murphy flicked a light switch on the side wall. Fluorescent lights flickered on after a few lagging moments, revealing a large cubicle before us.

"Get a load o' this shite!" Gleefully taking a seat upon the provided swivel chair and excitedly spinning upon it, he gloriously outstretched his arms as he motioned around, what I assumed, was his new office. The space was modestly furnished, if it could be described that way. Aside from a quaint, wooden table, swivel chair, and a sole laptop, the grey cubicle was pretty much…empty. My dear Murphy _must_ be excited about the bare walls!

With a light laugh, I remarked contentedly, "I'm guessing you were promoted?"

Murphy rightly beamed with magnificent pride. "Fuckin' A right, I was!" He inclined his head slightly to the right, a complacent smirk appearing on his face. "So was Connor. His cubicle's right across from mine."

I briskly followed Murphy's gaze, and, surely enough, could slightly make out Connor's spiked hair over a cubicle wall. I threw Murphy a satisfied smirk, leaning over to lightly press my lips upon his. "And what did my lovely fiancée do to earn such a promotion?"

He replied simply, "Saved a cat in a tree."

Standing upright once more, I couldn't help but burst out into raucous laughter at the seriousness that emanated from his expression. Placing a hand upon my stomach, my giggles wouldn't subside, even when Murphy merely eyed me with a blank stare plastered upon his countenance. His eyes shifted from side to side. "Why…why are ye laughin'?"

Before I could blurt a reply, we suddenly heard a voice ring out from behind me:

"Well, it really _is_ Mr. Murphy MacManus, back from his long hiatus! You're looking quite well, tiger."

The flirtatious tone evident in the high-pitched voice immediately suppressed my laughter and wiped the smile off my face. The voice's owner was a tall, thin, curly-haired brunette, who stood at the entrance of Murphy's cubicle with her hands coolly crossed in front of her and her back slightly leaning against the wall. Although Murphy didn't respond to her, she swiftly entered his office on her own free will, seemingly comfortable with doing so as though she had done it a hundred times. Honestly, I didn't really mind that she completely ignored me at first sight. Though, what I _did_ mind was what she subsequently did.

With squinted eyes and pursed lips, she seductively sat upon Murphy's lap, high-heeled feet dangling off the ground. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she ensued to move even _closer_ to him, wholly intent upon pressing her lips upon his even in my presence. _What audacity_! When her cherry lips were dangerously close to his, Murphy, with wide eyes, politely pushed her away from his form. _Fina-fucking-lly!_, I inwardly snarled, though managing to keep my expression neutral amidst her display of affection. Clearing his throat in an exaggerated manner, Murphy met my own narrowed eyes before proclaiming, "Fiona, meet my _fiancée_," he heavily emphasized the word, "Lourdes."

If this Fiona character was phased by this revelation, she surely didn't show it in her expression. Instead, she whirled to face me, hair flying ungracefully into poor Murphy's face, and cheerfully greeted, "Oh! Nice to meet you, Lourdes!" she paused, though not losing the strength of her grin. "Pity to say that Murphy's never told me about you before."

_Likewise_, I scoffed inwardly. I replied flatly, "Hi."

Even though Murphy made a move to stand and distance himself from Fiona, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. Her long hair bounced as she stood up, bright-red lips framing her pearly-white teeth. _Too perfect. She's too bloody perfect!_ She discreetly attempted to survey me with her bright-blue eyes, though it was hard to miss the scrutiny that hid beneath her gaze. Then, obviously making an effort to disregard my presence once more, she hooked her arm with Murphy's, beaming, "Murph, _darling_, I _have_ to show you all of these new gadgets that have been shipped to us while you were on your vacation! I swear, you're going to _die_ when you see these babies! My absolute _favourite_ is the new SK-47 rifle that they've…"

Throughout this, Murphy had twisted his head in my direction, a pained expression lining his visage. Though, before he could protest to her ramblings, Fiona was already tugging him away further and further from me. "Be right back." He managed to quickly mumble before they disappeared into another corridor, arm in arm.

_This Fiona _must_ be a man, because she's got balls if she thinks she could just…_

"Really, Lourdes. If looks could kill, ye'd have killed about a million people by now." A pause. "Maybe even two million."

Twisting my head in order to face Connor, who then strolled into the cubicle with a nonchalant gait, I grumbled with a scoff, "If looks could kill, Con, then I'd know who to look at right about now." I pressed my lips into a thin line. "And it sure as hell ain't the fuckin' Easter Bunny, either."

"Agent Greenly's sister." He proceeded to explain while moving his hand in a circular motion, knowing exactly who I was speaking of. "Turns out there were actually brains in the family, so she was hired as one of the Chief's personal detectives."

I had no clue who Agent Greenly was, but decided to brush it off. What I couldn't brush off so easily, though, was how flirtatiously this Fiona Greenly had greeted and acted around Murphy – especially _after_ Murphy had introduced me as his fuckin' _fiancée_. Now, I never considered myself as the jealous type; in fact, I'm probably a little _too_ liberal at times. Though, in this case, that annoying twinge of jealously actually coursed through my veins at full force. Needless to say, my mood was ruined by this unexpected introduction.

Wondering where the bloody hell Murphy and Fiona continued their bloody reunion, I suddenly wished that I hadn't come. Feeling a nudge upon the side of my arm after a few, silent moments, I turned my head to the side to meet Connor's inquisitive gaze. His eyebrow slightly rose as he questioned, "Ye alright, there? Now ye _really_ look like ye wanna kill someone."

"Very acute sense of observation you have there, Connor." I replied with complete dishumour lining my tone. From the side of my lips, I muttered, "Let's see how _you'd_ react if some guy blatantly came on to your fiancée in front of you!"

Connor couldn't help but overtly wince at my displeasure, then spoke as though he was choosing his next words wisely, "So I guess it wouldn't help if I told ye that they…er…_dated_ recently?"

I automatically clenched my jaw and fists at this revelation, eyes considerably narrowing. "Depends on _how_ recent you're talking about here, Con."

Holding up his hands above his head as though in utter surrender, he weakly stammered, "Oh, no, not like _that_ kind o' recent. Like, a few months before we left for Dublin and reunited with ye. _That_ kind o' recent." He mindlessly scratched the back of his head. "She got on well with Murph and knew about the whole Saints business and shite, so Murph thought that it would actually work out between them…"

My interest was suddenly piqued at the mention of Murphy's past love life – which, as I thought about it, I knew very little about. Amicably slugging an arm around Connor's shoulder, I encouraged in a wary, monotone voice, "Do go on, my fine fellow!" Now beginning to walk with him down the hallway and towards the main atrium, I muttered with sandpaper sarcasm, "I'm just _dying_ to know more about this interesting detail about my fiancée's past love life that he had _clearly_ managed _not_ to mention to me."

"Murph broke up with 'er." Resting an arm around my shoulders as well, Connor dismissively shrugged. "That's the most important thing, I reckon, but unfortunately that's about all I know. He never told me why and I never really thought about it that much ta question it. Wasn't really any o' me business, anyway."

I let out a dry laugh, raising a brow. "I kind of think it's _my_ business now, don't you agree?"

"Con, _what_ did I tell ye 'bout makin' moves on me Lou?"

Although the tone of Murphy's voice was light, Connor still made the animated gesture of raising his hands high in the air and taking a few steps back away from my form. Momentarily wiping the snarl off my face, I plastered a polite smile on my countenance at Murphy's reappearance. With an undecipherable expression, he proclaimed with the tilt of his head, "Well, folks, looks like the Saints are back in business."

Lips instantly plummeting into a frown, I questioned with furrowed brows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

3 3 3

**A/N: Oh, my lovely readers. It's only the beginning. xx IFHD**


	4. Issues

**A/N: I was just **_**too**_** excited to write this chapter, so I finished it post-haste! Hope it doesn't seem rushed, though. There are just so many ideas swirling around in my head that I need to write it all down asap. I promise to work extra hard on the next chapter, though, and take more time with it. Thanks to those who reviewed this chapter: Jade Opal, IrishSaints, Rhiev, Nicholas de Vilance, ivyshortcake, alandava and GoddessLaughs. Your comments make me smile. -smiles- See? Enjoy this next one. xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 4: Issues**

3 3 3

_**"Antidote For Irony"**_

_**By: So They Say**_

_The antidote for irony's held safe far away from you  
I heard you say just this one time  
So I guess I'll, just sit down and see for myself  
I'll go where you take me  
And I feel the lies cover your eyes  
And I'll wait 'til you say please  
You said this counts for so much more_

_Wait 'til tonight  
You'll see exactly what I've seen and can't believe  
All I ever wanted was  
To find a way to kill the pain_

_Put down, put down the loaded gun  
Or point it straight between my eyes  
'Cause you can't fight fair tonight  
With words that cut like knives_

_(And I want) To see you do the things you never do  
(And I want) To feel your skin but now the ceiling spins and the room gets cold  
I'll go where you take me  
You feel the lies cover their eyes  
And I'll wait 'til you say please  
You said this counts for so much more_

_The day will come and it kills me  
That the thing that I gave you  
Will take you away from here  
I need a chance to catch my breath  
I know the only thing that can take away our fear_

_Put down, put down the loaded gun  
Or point it straight between my eyes_

_3 3 3_

My mood had been utterly mangled and destroyed for the day – possibly even for the entire_ week_, for that matter. I admit that I was acting a bit juvenile, quite uncharacteristic of myself, but I did wholeheartedly believe that I had rightful grounds to be a bit _irate_ about this "Fiona Situation". Then, coupled with that_oh-so-lovely_ revelation, Murphy became completely evasive about this new "assignment" for the Saints. Keeping the conversation light and obviously off-topic, he took me back to the new condominium that he shared with Connor, acting as though nothing at all was the matter.

As we entered the spacious penthouse suite that overlooked Boston Harbour, Murphy immediately tugged at my arm and ensued to lead me towards his pitch-black bedroom. I instantly threw Connor, who stood behind us, a pleading glance, hoping that he would somehow stop his brother and overtly speak about this new mission in my presence. Obviously I didn't share the same telepathy with Connor as he did with Murphy. In response, he merely replied with a cheesy grin, both thumbs held out in sheer pride and encouragement in front of him.

Although I desperately desired to speak with Murphy about his past before he held me captive in his room, the opportunity never arose. Observing the haste with which he brought me into his bedroom, I knew there was no way in hell that I could disrupt Murphy's lustful ministrations at this point. Kicking the door closed behind him with a flailing foot, he proceeded to immediately press me upon the wall, my arms pinned firmly above my head. With no time for me to protest, his lips wantonly collided with my own, tongue freely delving into the recesses of my mouth. Whimpering as he slowly parted my legs with his knees, I attempted, almost unsuccessfully at this point, to keep my thoughts straight. Coherent thoughts were almost out of my reach when I felt Murphy's hand caressing my inner thighs. With his trim hips pressed upon my own, he placed the other hand upon my rear, gently squeezing as he ensued to pull me even closer to him.

When it _finally_ dawned on the lust-filled MacManus that I was not reciprocating any of his advances – however admittedly pleasing they may have been – he stopped kissing me. Through heavy pants and with furrowed brows, he worriedly questioned as he caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers, "Hey, what's wrong?"

In response, I delicately pushed him away from my form, clearing my throat as I straightened my wrinkled clothing and disheveled hair. With a tightened jaw, I declared with sheer authority lining my voice, "If I'm to be your wife, Murphy, I want no secrets between us."

"And there will be none." He instantly replied, expression exhibiting his struggle to understand my stern point. With his palm pressed upon my cheek and jaw, he continued with the utmost sincerity, "Yer goin' ta be me wife, an' I won't keep anythin' from ye. I promise." When I still did not reply and merely shifted away from his form, he let out an exhale of frustration. Stroking the sides of my arms as a thoughtful expression lined his face, he questioned softly, "What's all this about, now? Ye've been actin' like this ever since we left the station."

"Why didn't you tell me about Fiona?"

There was a brief, tense moment of silence after I had placed everything out in the open. It was an unexpected question, aye, but was Murphy unable to speak out of hesitation? Was he at a loss for words with regards to the fact that I had found him out on my own? I felt his body move closer to mine, arms slinking around my waist as he pulled me closer. "It wasn't important."

Shaking him from my being, I abruptly inclined my head to meet his dark eyes. "Oh, that's bullshit, and you know it!" Alternately gazing at his orbs, though trying my best to control my visible upset, I recounted, "It seemed like _something_ when I saw you two together this afternoon! Look at the bloody way she greeted you, for fuck's sake! It's like you two were still together!"

With a hand propped against the wall to support himself, Murphy was quick to defend his honour. "That's _her_ deluded idea, _not_ mine. _I_ didn't throw myself at her! Besides," a mischievous smirk then appeared on his face as he proceeded to place butterfly kisses upon the side of my arm, "aren't ye proud that ye actually witnessed someone comin' on ta yer _fiancée_?"

"An _ex-girlfriend_ of aforementioned _fiancée_?" I managed to state in a disturbingly sweet tone, batting my eyelashes for the desired effect. "I'm ec-fuckin'-static, Murphy, really! Ye should keep _all_ of the women who come onto you – in _my_ presence – in tow, _just_ so that I can show them all off to my mates! Better yet, we'll have a fuckin' parade with banners and streamers and pipe players – the _works_!"

Now visibly upset as well, Murphy abruptly pulled away from my body. Switching on the lights with a flick of his fingers, he began to busy himself and place away all of his belongings in their respective locations. Under his breath, he muttered, "Jaysus, Lourdes, ye _really_ know how ta ruin the mood, don't ye?" Ruffling his hair in sheer annoyance, he proceeded to plop upon his bed in exasperation. "Well, since the mood's already ruined, I might as well tell ye what's goin' on."

"Oh, goody." The flatness of my tone instantly elicited a dry look from him. "A bedtime story! I don't know about you, Murph, but _I'm_ certainly excited."

_**Flashback**_

_"Well, look at who we have here. I'm pretty sure we didn't have beer or potatoes placed on strings outside the station."_

_Turning away from his conversation with Fiona, Murphy's attention was immediately drawn towards the teasing voice behind him. With a smirk tugging at the side of his lips at the sight of another familiar face, he mirthfully rejoined, "Last time I looked, this wasn't a fuckin' drag show."_

_"It isn't. I just felt a little festive, that's all."_

_With hearty laughter colouring their surroundings, Murphy and Paul Smecker shared a light embrace. Repeatedly patting the Special Agent upon the back, Murphy sincerely commented, "It's nice ta see ye again, Smecks. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Head slightly tilting to the side in curiosity, he pursed his lips in thought. "What brings ye ta Boston again? Got another case brewin' or somethin'?"_

_At this point, the grin that graced Smecker's expression completely disappeared from his countenance. As he threw Fiona a look, she automatically nodded in silent understanding. Tightly embracing Murphy once more as she said her goodbyes, she turned on her heels and made her way back to her cubicle. As Smecker raised a knowing brow at this exhibition of affection, Murphy merely waved a dismissive hand and ensued to silently follow him into his office._

_"I'm assuming your brother's back as well?" Smecker began blithely as he took a seat upon his swivel chair. Offering Murphy a pack of smokes, which the MacManus gladly took with a nod of gratitude, he poked, "Knowing the two of you, when one's around, the other isn't too far behind."_

_"Aye. He's just getting' settled in. Talkin' ta the rest o' the boys and shite like that." Taking a long drag and idly blowing the smoke from his bottom lip, Murphy's expression, which was previously light-hearted, turned completely hard. He stated with no doubt lining his tone, "And knowin' the look on yer face, what yer about ta tell me ain't good news."_

_"Depends on how ye look at it, really." Sitting back in a relaxed position upon his chair and clasping his hands firmly in front of him, Smecker began, "I've been in contact with your father for a few months now. He's been keeping me posted on what he's doing and, most recently, what you've been doing back in the mother country." He then leaned forward upon his desk, propping his elbows on the surface and placing his clutched hands upon his chin. "So I know that the name 'Ciaran O'Malley' isn't new to you."_

_Murphy's felt his back automatically tense at this. Quickly flicking the half-burnt cigarette upon the nearby ash tray, he managed to irritably reply with, "Nay, but the bastard's dead. Da took care o' the son o' a bitch more than a month ago. Shot the fucker in the 'ead."_

_"The bastard may be dead, MacManus, but his brother isn't."_

_At this unexpected revelation, Murphy felt as though the ground had been completely swept out from underneath him. Gripping the edge of the table in sheer upset, he aggressively hissed through gritted teeth, "Brother? Smecks, what the fuck are ye talkin' about?"_

_Smecker instantly held out a hand in order to appease the fuming Saint. "Cillian O'Malley is his name. After Ciaran's death, he took the reigns of the Irish mob based here and in Dublin. Ciaran had embezzled millions of dollars from the Irish government and the Irish Embassy here in Boston, and now his brother is carrying on the family tradition. We've been on their asses for months, but we've still come up empty handed every time they surface. They know how to cover their tracks and they're professionals at what they do. So, that's when you Saints come into the picture…again."_

_As the anger boiled and continually rose within him, Murphy suddenly shot out from his seat, causing the chair to topple over and violently crash upon the tiled floor behind him. He proclaimed with narrowed eyes, "I'll go kill the motherfuckers now, then! No fuckin' problem!"_

_"Hold on, MacManus. There's more." Smecker motioned for Murphy to take his seat once more. Though finding that the heavily-breathing MacManus didn't budge from his spot, he continued with a dragged exhale, "Here's where this shit gets complicated and another variable comes into the equation: The Donnelly brothers. The Donnelly brothers are the head of the Irish mob in New York. Now, they are having trouble with Cillian and his cocksuckers trying to take over. And believe me, MacManus, we don't want Cillian to get his hands on the Irish mob in New York..."_

_"What's so complicated about that?" Furrowing his brows in overt confusion, Murphy shrugged dismissively. "It's an Irish mob war. That's it. Kill 'em all."_

_"The Donnelly brothers have been in contact with me and are here in Boston." Eliciting a bewildered expression on Murphy's countenance, Smecker proceeded to calmly explain, "MacManus, they may sound like the sons of bitches that you usually take out, but here's the thing about these guys. Ever since Tommy Donnelly, the oldest of the four brothers, took the reigns of the Irish mob, the streets of New York have been safer. In New York's entire history, crime rates have been at their lowest ever since this guy and his family started callin' the shots. Plus, the Irish neighbourhood in which they're based has been rid of Italian, Chinese, and Russian crime syndicates for a few months now." He rolled his hand in front of him, hoping to get his point across. "Basically the Donnellys are using the mob to get rid of evil, in every sense of the word, in the city. Taking that into consideration, these guys don't seem to be too different from the Saints, in my opinion."_

_"That may be, Smecks," Murphy replied with utter skepticism lining his tone, "but that still doesn't change the fact that Con and I don't even personally know these Donnelly brothers or their motives."_

_It was then that a smug smile appeared on Smecker's face. "Then maybe you should get to know them."_

_**End Flashback**_

I found that I couldn't move an inch as Murphy finished recounting what had passed between he and Smecker that afternoon. As I thought about the consequences of this situation, my memories regressed to a statement that Ciaran had snarled at me a few months prior when the bastard had kidnapped me and held me captive:

_"This goes deeper than you will ever know."_

Well. The dead son of a bitch was right.

And now his fuckin' brother has taken over in his absence.

Regarding the other variable in the equation, as Smecker so aptly put it, I pointed out with squinted eyes, "Aren't the Donnelly brothers what the Saints fight against? Even though they're Irish as well, they're still part of the mob." A bit calmer with regards to the previous argument over Fiona, I took a seat beside Murphy upon the bed. Gingerly entwining my fingers with his, I stated, "They _are_ the mob, Murphy."

He pursed his lips in careful deliberation, caressing the back of my neck with his fingertips. "Ta tell ye the truth, Lou, it's hard ta say at this point. Accordin' ta Smecker, they aren't bastards, from the looks o' it. They're against the O'Malleys and their cronies, first o' all. And second, if they're actually keepin' New York's streets safer, then…"

My lips involuntarily quivered upon hearing Murphy speak about becoming involved with the mob once more. _Not again_. "I just don't want you to be involved with this, Murphy." I bowed my head and fixated my eyes upon the ground as I ran my fingers through my long, black hair. "In any of this."

"Hey," he piped up in a consoling tone, taking my chin in between his thumb and forefinger and slightly lifting my head so that I could look straight into his eyes. "Maybe these blokes can help with the Saints' cause." Taking my hands in his, he daintily pressed his lips upon them. "Think about it that way."

I then raised my eyes to the ceiling as though praying for some divine intervention. I muttered under my breath, "I'd like to think more about the weekend that we had planned to spend together…"

Murphy blinked a few times as he registered what I had just said. Finally realizing what I was on about, he let out a groan, lowering his head in disappointment. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Lourdes. I can't do it this weekend, I…" Kissing me fully on the lips in an exhibition of his apologies, he pleaded, "Please don't be angry. I _promise_ I'll make it up ta ye…"

"No need." I replied half-heartedly. Then, as I thought of my own assignment, my face wrinkled in utter distaste. "I'll just spend some good, quality time with the Boston Irish Mob report that I have to do for O'Keefe."

Sheer bewilderment crossed Murphy's countenance. With a sound of exasperation, he cried, "Lourdes, _what_ did we say about ye gettin' involved with…"

"I had no choice," I coolly interrupted, shrugging, "O'Keefe didn't overtly say it, but I know it's either get the job done or get out. You _know_ I can't afford to lose this job, Murphy, so I just accepted the assignment."

After a few moments of silent deliberation, Murphy nodded his head in understanding, albeit not wholly reassured or comfortable with the idea. Pursing his lips in thought, he then stood and began to rummage through his closet. Resting his back upon the open closet door, he began, "Look, I'm obviously not happy about ye doin' a story on the Irish mob, but here." He pulled out a large briefcase from within the closet and stretched his arm towards me. "We've got files and photos and all that shite about the Irish mob in Boston, New York, Washington, and a few other places. Might help ye with yer report."

"Oh, honey, thank you." I immediately embraced him as he took his seat beside me once more. Giving him a light kiss, I then ensued to open the briefcase and rummage through its organized contents. After a few moments of curious perusal, I let out an audible gasp as I recognized a familiar face upon a photograph. "Oh my God. It's him."

Anxiously peering over my shoulder and kissing my neck, Murphy suspiciously inquired, "What? Who?" With an ashen expression, I handed him the photograph that I held in between my shaking fingers. As he examined the picture, his forehead crinkled in simultaneous question and confusion. "What, ye know him or somethin'?"

"N-no, but I literally bumped into him at the Irish Embassy a few days ago, I…" I began to trail off, finding that my thoughts had completely gone awry. Remembering that I had not told Murphy about the incident, I nervously informed him, "Our belongings accidentally became switched, and I found that he had dossiers and photographs about the Saints…"

"That's Kevin Donnelly." Murphy declared as he clenched his jaw. "Da knew all about the Donnelly brothers, but Con and I only started gettin' ta know the blokes just recently." He let out a scoff. "But from what you said, it seems like they've been doin' their homework on us just like we've been doin' our homework on 'em."

I gulped in anxiety, entwining my fingers with his once more. "So what are you going to do?"

"Tomorrow, Con and I are going to meet with the Donnelly brothers."

3 3 3

**A/N: Jaysus, even **_**I'm**_** excited to see what happens next! Let me know what you think! xx IFHD**


	5. The Meeting

**A/N: Another installment for you lovely readers! Thanks to ivyshortcake, alandava, Nicholas de Vilance, IrishSaints and dragonzfire718 for reviewing and thank you for reading! I'm very pleased with the number of hits this story is receiving, so I will continue to work hard on this story for all of you since I know you're all interested. But remember -- this is **_**only **_**the beginning! There's so much more to come, and I'm very happy with where this story is going!**

**Also, let me know if you don't know about the Black Donnellys (or if you do) so I know how much detail to put about them in this story. Thanks! **

** But if you haven't heard of the show the Black Donnellys, simply download the free program BitLord, Google "The Black Donnellys Torrent", and you should find a bunch of links where you can download them. There is one file on "Isohunt" that's 4.32 gigs which has ALL 13 episodes. It's worth the wait. Basically it's "The Boondock Saints meets The Sopranos". If downloading isn't your thing, the whole first season is out on DVD, so I'm sure you can find that on Amazon. Also, on NBC's website, there should be a link to the Black Donnellys, so you can get an idea about how the show is like. xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 5: The Meeting**

3 3 3

"_**Kiss My Irish Ass"**_

_**By: Flogging Molly**_

_Oh the churchbells are ringin' in the schoolyard,  
And we all went out those days  
The bully said "Mick would you fancy a rumble?"  
I said "Yes, it's time to play!"_

_Oh the nuns and the priests they grabbed their Rosaries  
As they pulled our bodies apart  
The bully said "Mick you lost the fight, but you've gained my respect!  
You fight with so much heart!"_

_We're as stubborn as mules  
With our blood on fire  
When we ain't at Sunday mass  
We'll look any man straight in his eyes and say  
Kiss my Irish ass!  
You better kiss my Irish ass!_

_Oh the husbands and wives, they had a neighborhood pack  
They called the Mackeys white trash behind our backs (White Trash!)  
I was way too young to understand that  
But if I did, I'd given it right back_

_Oh me dad, he'd be drunk on the lawn,  
Yelling and screaming like he do  
But sometimes my old man felt what he was feeling,  
Sometimes Mr. Mackey spoke the truth_

_Oh me grandpa passed through Ellis Island,  
From the greatest of the Motherlands  
For he worked, provided for his family  
He was a dedicated welding man  
And he knew right from wrong like day and night,  
He could whip any fool in a bareknuckle fight  
He talked of country like he preached of God,  
One hell of an Irishman!_

_Oh, I'm of a distant relation to John Redman,  
He was one of the greatest Irish Rebels of his day  
One bastard to another, on down the line  
And this is what my son will say:_

_Kiss my Irish ass!  
We're as stubborn as mules  
With our blood on fire  
When we ain't at Sunday mass  
We'll look any man straight in his eyes and say  
Kiss my Irish ass!  
You better kiss my Irish ass!_

3 3 3

_**Flashback**_

_The feeling of slick skin, coupled with the warm air of heavy pants, invaded my senses. Lost in a world of sheer ecstasy, I bit my bottom lip, though was ultimately unable to stop my whimpering. With my arms pinned upon my sides and fingers gripping the wrinkled bed sheets around me, I felt Murphy move within me, probing deeper and deeper with every fluid thrust. I arched my hips in unison with his, meeting his every move with equal force. Greedily grasping his rear within my palms as he buried his perspiring face upon my neck, my breaths became erratic, shouts of pleasure reaching the heavens. In response, Murphy only increased his speed, with satisfied groans incessantly rumbling from the bottom of his throat. Amidst the mumbles and curses, he repeatedly cried my name, then captured my lips in his in a searing kiss as he reached his peak. With a gasp, I constricted around him, reaching my own peak a few moments later._

_With heavy breaths, we suddenly became motionless as shivers simultaneously ran through our bodies like electric currents. I could still feel his length throbbing within me, his hands freely, languidly, grazing upon my thighs and breasts. As he collapsed upon me, I lovingly wrapped my arms around his neck and lower back, reveling in the feeling of his body upon mine – his scent, his touch, and even his mere breath on my bare skin – even in heaven, there was nothing that could elicit so much pleasure within me. I truly believed that I held perfection in my arms; a God-given blessing. Kissing his forehead as he rested his head upon the crook of my neck, I then relaxed upon the bed, attempting to catch my breath._

_As a lover, Murphy was so gentle, yet rough; submissive, though unafraid to exhibit his dominance. The unspoken bond between us made it seem as though he was able to read my every thought to match every single one of my actions. He knew where to touch me, where I was most sensitive; he knew me so well that he knew exactly how to tease me. Though, I must admit, I never really complained about it. Murphy knew that for every tortuous moment he inflicted upon me, he would only receive it in kind sooner or later. _

_Without a word, he suddenly rolled from my body and sat up upon the bed. Concerned, I followed his lead, conscientious of the haste with which he placed his clothes back on. Slightly turning his head to face me as he redid the buckle of his belt, he finally informed me after a lingering silence, "Sorry, Lou, I just remembered I have ta meet Connor back at our place right now. We're gonna go meet the Donnelly brothers tonight, so we have ta go through some shite first, then go over ta the Police Department ta talk with Smecker."_

_"Oh." I replied unenthusiastically, eyes downcast, as I wrapped the covers around my shoulders. "Okay."_

_"I'll be back soon, alright?" With a heavy sigh as he gracefully stood, Murphy's dark orbs connected with mine once more, concern evident within them. Placing his forefinger underneath my chin as he gave me a light kiss, he declared sincerely, "I love ye."_

_And with that, he retrieved his belongings and bolted out from my room._

_**End Flashback**_

Even though Murphy had been gone for a few hours, I continued to lie lethargically upon my bed, tracing the empty space beside me with the tips of my fingers. Anxiously eyeing the alarm clock and the telephone perched upon the nightstand beside my bed, I desperately wanted him to call, or even leave a message, saying that he and Connor were alright. How long was this "meeting" supposed to be, anyway?

After the third hour of worrying about Murphy's and Connor's whereabouts, I decided to have a pint or five at McGuinty's to relax. Spending a couple of hours at the lively establishment a few times a week became a habit for me, seeing as Murphy and Connor tugged me along most of the time. As I showered, dressed, and left my apartment, I continually reminded myself that it would be uncharacteristic of Murphy not to contact me after a meeting or job. So, as I whistled for a taxi, I decided that I shouldn't be so worried, especially about two men who could clearly take care of themselves.

The pub was not as busy as it usually was on a Friday night, though there were still enough patrons present that I had to carefully zigzag my way through the crowd in order to make it to the bar. Waving at Doc through the myriad of faces, he immediately beamed at the sight of me, eyes twinkling in sheer mirth. Even before I reached the bar, he had my regular drink, cold and ready, for me to consume: an Irish Car Bomb. Crying a 'thanks' to him through the lively chatter, I mindlessly scanned the bar for any familiar faces, already feeling more relieved and relaxed.

It was then that I almost dropped the drink in my hand.

Not too far from where I sat upon a stool, I clearly spotted Murphy and Connor standing face to face with Kevin Donnelly and who I assumed to be one of his brothers. The unfamiliar male had short, curly, dark-brown hair, heavily-defined cheekbones and a strong jaw-line. By his erect stance, his presence screamed such authority and power, though it contrasted with the warm expression that graced his chiseled face. The Donnelly brothers were clad in matching, dark green suits, poised with their backs straight and hands loosely clasped in front of them. Murphy and Connor, sporting their usual rugged jeans and plain black shirts, casually held pints in their hands, keeping their cigarettes tightly tucked between the corners of their lips. Wildly shifting my eyes to and fro as I regained my senses after a few moments of shock, I instinctively ducked, drink still held in my hand, and nearly _crawled_ behind an adjacent booth. Disregarding the curious looks that I received in my attempt to remain invisible – _especially_ to Murphy – I continued to make my way through the packed establishment, waddling and doubled-over.

Call it the luck o' the Irish, but the four Irishmen sat _right_ at the booth where I had my back to. Gulping down the rest of my drink and subsequently freezing to hear their conversation through the noise, I heard an unfamiliar voice comment light-heartedly, "You could've chosen a place a little more discreet, MacManus."

It was Connor who rejoined a few moments later. "Why? We're out in the open. No one will suspect a thing."

Obviously somewhat annoyed by the Donnelly's 'complaint' about the venue for their epic gathering, Murphy was quick to state, "We're meeting, and that's all that matters. And I was led ta believe that there would be four o' ye, so where are the other two?"

Disregarding the irritation present in Murphy's tone, the unfamiliar voice replied calmly, "My brothers Sean and Jimmy are back in New York. Even though the two of them could be a bit _irresponsible_ at times, I just can't let the rest of the boys run around the city like headless chickens while I'm gone. But if we need the two of them to come, they're only a phone call away, so you have nothing to worry about."

By this point, it became harder to eavesdrop on their conversation as a group of patrons closely stood to my right. Wholly obstructing my hearing, I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes in blatant annoyance, glancing around the dimly-lit section of the bar from where I sat. Setting aside my empty pint glass, I then began to crawl on my hands and knees towards the other side of the booth. Taking my chances after a few moments, I peeked my head out from the side wall of the booth, managing to get a glimpse of all four Irishmen.

Kevin clasped his hands in front of him, coolly eying Murphy and Connor alternately. "We're looking for Cillian O'Malley. Smecker must've told the both of you that much." He lightly cleared his throat, looking to his brother, then back to the MacManuses. "We've been looking for him and his cronies for months. Cillian's trying to take over the New York Irish mob from Tommy here by trying to assassinate him and even killing off our men. So, you see, it's not only the lives of the Donnellys that are at stake here, but also the lives of the _good_ men in our mob. With our numbers decreasing, New York's streets are becoming more dangerous by the minute."

At these statements, the twins shared a look of disbelief and almost distrust. They did not bother to hide their true emotions from the Donnelly brothers, either. From their body language, I could tell that they were more than apprehensive and skeptical about giving these Donnellys a chance. Though, in the end, they remained in complete silence as Tommy continued his explanations.

"These guys sporadically surface from time to time, and we can't fucking trace them." Tommy leaned forward, his intense green eyes landing upon both of the MacManuses. "We're trying to stop an Irish mob war from escalating any further. Fuck the Russians, the Italians, and even the Chinese. The Irish mob has problems of its own."

When I felt someone's foot move beside me, I cowered back slightly behind the table, praying to God that none of the Irishmen would find me. God must have been busy at that particular moment and didn't heed my prayer, because before I knew it, my eyes were firmly locked with Kevin Donnelly's piercing emerald orbs. I automatically gulped, eyes wide in fear, and was frozen stalk still. He had been reaching for the briefcase that was placed right beside his leg when he caught full view of my recoiling body. Though, his bewildered expression instantly turned into mirth as he teasingly commented with a mischievous smirk, "So…you like being on your knees or something?"

It took a moment or two for me to realize what he had just so rudely implied. Visibly seething, I narrowed my eyes at the cheeky Irishman and menacingly hissed through gritted teeth, "Oh, kiss my Irish ass!"

He shrugged nonchalantly as though to acquiesce. "Only if you kiss mine."

"Kevin, who the hell are you talking to?" Tommy's voice suddenly piped up in simultaneous confusion and irritation, catching me off-guard once more.

Now, _all_ four Irishmen were curiously peering down at my form from the booth table. _Fuckin' 'ell, can someone _please_ shoot me in the face right now?_ Letting out a nervous laugh, I momentarily flashed a crooked smile as my eyes met Murphy's undecipherable ones. Shakily holding up a hand, I ensued to wave, twiddling my fingers as a form of greeting. "Why, hello there. Fancy seeing you here!"

"What the hell?" Murphy eyed every single one of us, visibly confused and attempting to find any clues as to what I was doing there on the floor. As Connor shot him a knowing look, Murphy irritably snarled, his patience tried, "Con, don't even fuckin' _think_ about it."

"Too late." Connor then shifted his eyes and turned his attention wholly to me. Even though his voice was light, I could still discern the stern expression on his face. "So, if ye aren't under there because o' Murph, what _are_ ye doin' 'ere?"

I struggled to form coherent words as all of their eyes continued to lock on my form. Feeling as though my life depended on my next words, I weakly stammered, "Having a pint and…enjoying a nice conversation with my friends?"

Kevin had the nerve to rejoin with a mocking scoff, "Who, Gravity and Floor?"

Clearly, it was like shooting fish in a friggen' barrel when it came to discerning who the older Donnelly brother was in this case. Though my annoyance, which was wholly directed to Kevin and his irritating comment, immediately dissipated and morphed into utter fear as I saw Murphy abruptly stand from the corner of my eye. With his jaw tight, he stalked over to my side in a matter of seconds, his entire attention focused upon my form. Gently grasping my upper arm, he helped me up to my two feet and ensued to fix my wrinkled shirt and brush off the dirt from my pants. Then, without a word, he began to unceremoniously drag me behind him as he headed straight for the exit of the bar.

"Murphy, let go!" I hissed as inconspicuously as possible, struggling to escape his vice grip. "What are you doing? Where exactly are you taking me?"

"Ta the bloody car."

"Oi! America's a free country, innit?" I retorted with a wiggle of my arm. "I have a _right_ to be here and a_ right_ to enjoy a few drinks…"

His eyes clung to my form, wholly unimpressed. "Ye have a right ta be in the bloody car."

Finally managing to pry myself from his grasp, I instantly took his hands in mine, squeezing them tightly. "Look, Murphy, I didn't follow you, if that's what you're thinking. I didn't receive any messages or calls from you, so I only came here to get a few pints and relax for a couple of hours, alright? That's all."

I became less tense as his countenance visibly softened at my explanation. With a sigh, he placed the palm of his hand upon the side of my face, thumb gently stroking my cheek. "And how do you explain the eavesdropping behind the booth?"

"I tried to hide from you after I saw you, but you all sat right at the booth where I was hiding, and…" I wildly croaked, suddenly feeling like a child being sternly interrogated by her father. I desperately blurted, "Look, I'm sorry. I may have eavesdropped a little bit, but I didn't deliberately follow you. I know this meeting is important, and I would never do anything to interrupt it. So I'll just leave the four of you to do what you're doing now, okay?"

Murphy pursed his lips as though deep in contemplation. After a few moments of staring into my eyes, he finally spoke. "Aw shit," he muttered through tight lips, ruffling his already mussed hair with his fingertips. "That puppy-dog face gets me every fuckin' time, ye know that? Come ta think o' it, ye probably do, and that's why ye do it!" Placing a tender, lingering kiss upon my lips and nuzzling my nose with his own, he stated, "This won't go on for too long. Give us another few minutes ta talk, then I'll take ye home, alright?"

"Lourdes…"

The sudden sound of Kevin's voice instantly caught both of our attentions. With our heads shooting upwards, Murphy and I simultaneously realized that Connor, Kevin, and Tommy had all followed us from the booth. As Tommy observed the way Kevin eyed me with much familiarity, he threw his brother a curious look. Then, placing his bright-green eyes upon my form, and then on Murphy's, he questioned earnestly with raised brows, "Is there a problem?"

Pressing his lips into a thin line, though not breaking his gaze upon me, Murphy curtly replied, "No. No problem."

Tommy glanced at Connor as he nodded his head towards my direction. "She knows?"

Connor let out a dragged exhale, placing his thumb and forefinger upon his temples. "Aye, she knows."

An awkward moment of silence passed between the five of us. It was difficult to decipher any of the Irishmen's expressions as they presumably deliberated about the consequences of my knowing their situations. Suddenly feeling quite uncomfortable at this scene, I lowered my gaze towards the ground, wishing to God that I had just stayed at home to wait for Murphy. After a few moments, we heard Kevin smoothly pipe up, "Then let the lady stay and buy her a few drinks."

At this friendly suggestion, Murphy stood protectively in front of me as though shielding me from the Donnellys. "Oi, I don't want 'er to be involved in any o' this, ye hear? This is just between us MacManuses and ye Donnellys. Let's just keep it that way, alright?"

"Hey, we're not going to involve her in anything," Kevin was quick to state, his expression gone serious. "I just think she has a right to know what's going on, don't you? She deserves at least _that_ much, MacManus."

_I have the right to know what's going on? How does any of this directly concern _me?

Fuming at the nonchalant gait that Kevin so freely emanated, Murphy took a menacing step forward, gritting his teeth. With a stern finger pointed at the Donnelly's nose, Murphy barked, "Oi, look 'ere, Donnelly…"

_Oh God, please, not another bar fight…_

"MacManus, relax." Tommy calmly interjected with a slight tilt of his head. Pacing in between the two, he held out his hands to his sides in order to split Murphy and Kevin apart. When he found that neither man made a move, he stated sincerely, "We're not gonna harm her or put her in harm's way. We're not like that. If anything, we're here to protect her, too."

_Protect me?_ I shot Tommy a questioning look in response to his last statement. He met my stare with equal measure, though merely threw me a polite smile. By his expression, he wasn't going to offer to divulge any information, and with the tension that freely wrapped itself around each and every one of us, I didn't think that I was in any position to ask. I could tell that Murphy and Connor were entirely uncomfortable with my staying for the rest of the meeting, and to be quite honest, I was as well. Though, in the end, I eventually took a seat with the four Irishmen within the booth, quietly sinking in between Murphy and Kevin.

To break another awkward silence, Connor cleared his throat as he met Tommy's patient stare. "So…what do ye want ta do exactly, Donnelly? Ye've said all these facts about Cillian and shite. Do ye actually have a fuckin' plan?"

"Yeah." Tommy flashed the three of us a disarming smile. "Work together."

3 3 3

**A/N: A MacManus/Donnelly alliance? Any thoughts, feelings? haha Till next time, my lovely readers! xx IFHD**


	6. To Trust or Not To Trust?

**A/N: It's a bit "Black Donnellys" heavy for the first few chapters because it's very important to the plot and will set off the rest of the story (you'll see), so I hope you don't mind and that I don't lose you readers! If you want more background on the Black Donnellys, don't hesitate to PM me and I can give you some information about the TV show and/or the brothers themselves.**

**P.S. If you haven't had the chance to do so, check out my newest Oneshot, "Diapers, Pacifiers and Milk, Oh My!". xx IFHD **

3 3 3

**Chapter 6: To Trust or Not To Trust?**

3 3 3

_**"Blow Me Away"**_

_**By: Breaking Benjamin**_

_They fall in line  
One at a time  
Ready to play  
(I can't see them anyway)  
No time to lose  
We've got to move  
Steady your hand  
(I am losing sight again)_

_Fire your guns  
It's time to run  
Blow me away  
(I will stay, in the mess I made)  
After the fall  
We'll shake it off  
Show me the way_

_Only the strongest will survive  
Lead me to heaven, when we die  
I am the shadow on the wall  
I'll be the one to save us all_

_There's nothing left  
So save your breath  
Lying in wait  
(Caught inside this tidal wave)  
Your cover's blown  
No where to go  
Holding your fate  
(Loaded I will walk alone)_

_Wanted it back  
(Don't fight me now)_

3 3 3

Shortly after Tommy Donnelly disclosed his modest proposal for a MacManus-Donnelly alliance, the twins automatically shared a look. From their identical stone expressions, it was evident that neither of the MacManuses expected to be involved in any shape or form with the Irish mob…maybe excluding killing off its members. Another tense moment passed between the five of us as Murphy and Connor silently contemplated this brash proposal. Timidly eyeing Murphy, I could see that his back had severely tensed, his eyes revealing his true emotions. With orbs afire, he finally scoffed, "Work together, Donnelly? Are ye fuckin'_ shittin'_ me?"

"No. I'm suggesting we work together." Tommy reiterated calmly, sitting back upon the booth in a relaxed position. "Four guns here in Boston are better than two, isn't it?"

"I know ye can count, Donnelly," Connor rejoined mockingly, eliciting a dry look from both Donnelly brothers. Disregarding their reactions, he continued in almost a bark with narrowed eyes, "But how the fuck do we know that we can trust ye? All o' ye and yer men?"

"You don't." Kevin replied simply, tight-lipped. "You just have to take our word for it."

Visibly fuming and almost unable to control his rising emotions, Murphy banged a fist upon the table and snarled, "Well, that's not fuckin' good enough!" I gulped at this point, carefully placing a hand upon the small of his back in an effort to calm him.

Tommy shook his head and threw the three of us a nonchalant shrug. Never losing his patience even amidst the MacManus outbursts, he coolly replied, "Well, it has to be for now. We have no concrete proof about any of the shit we're saying until you see it with your own eyes. And trust me – when you meet Cillian and his cronies, they'll be hard to miss." Pursing his lips into a thin line, he added, "And I suggest you work on your bullet-dodging skills before that meeting."

"You've spoken with Smecker already. Isn't his word good enough for you?" Kevin piped in, regaining his cool composure once more. "Besides, the Boston Police Department knows about all of this. So if you want reassurance or even backup, there you have it."

Another moment of stern eye-contact passed between Murphy and Connor. As though reading each other's minds, which was probably what had then transpired, they simultaneously gave a curt nod of acquiesce. Connor was first to break the silence as he declared, "Fine. In the loose sense o' the term, we'll work together."

"But just to be clear on this, Donnellys," Murphy continued from here, eyes narrowed into a warning stare as he stiffly leaned forward upon the table, "We are _not_ part o' yer mob, and we sure as hell ain't under yer commands. We have the same goals, but ye do things yer way and we do it our way. Got it?"

"If those are your terms, then so be it." Tommy quickly replied, hands in the air to his sides as though in surrender. "We're the ones asking for the Saints' help here, so we're not about to bully you two to be under our command. Just temporarily lend us some of your…_expertise_…to dispose of this problem for the good of New York. That's all we're asking for and nothing more."

"Agreed." Connor turned his hand in a circular motion as he encouraged the Donnellys to continue. "Now, tell us what we need ta know in order ta start getting' rid o' this bastard and his cronies."

At this point, my mind automatically tried to block out the voices of the Donnelly brothers. It was as though my consciousness had a built-in defence mechanism and was unwilling to re-open the trauma of my past. _O'Malley brothers._ _Fake-offshore bank accounts. MI-6. Irish Embassy._ I almost couldn't comprehend their droning voices as I suddenly felt faint and claustrophobic. With erratic breathing, I tried to concentrate on the empty pint glasses in front of me, the patrons surrounding us – anything but what the brothers were talking about.

"…So we know that you had been involved with Ciaran a few months ago..."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had no idea why, but at that particular moment, the way that Tommy had begun to describe the past with Ciaran had triggered all of my repressed memories and past trauma. The flood of emotions rushed through my body, wholly engulfing me to the point where I almost couldn't breathe. With my heart constricting, I snatched Murphy's hand, clinging onto it as though for dear life. Instantly taking his attention away from the speaking Donnelly, Murphy eyed me curiously, with concern evident within his light orbs. Swallowing in the midst of Tommy's ongoing speech, I abruptly stood without a word and bolted from the booth without looking back.

It wasn't long before I felt Murphy gently tug at my arm. Whirling me around to face him, he worriedly cupped my face in the palms of his hands and inquired, "Hey, hey…are ye alright?"

"I'm fine." I quickly replied, placing my hands upon his. "I…I just need to get some air for a bit, okay?" Tenderly kissing his lips in order to offer some reassurance, I lightly pointed out, "I shouldn't be at this meeting, anyway. Go talk things out and do what you need to do. I'll wait for you."

By his expression, Murphy wasn't the least bit convinced. Though, after a few moments of hesitation, he finally nodded in acquiesce. "I'll go tell these Donnellys ta hurry this shit up, alright?" Kissing me deeply once more, he swiftly turned on his heel and stalked back towards the booth.

After watching Murphy's retreating form, I stepped out of the bar and onto the front walkway, attempting to escape the stifling tension within. There was no way in_ hell_ that I would be involved in any of this.

I just couldn't.

"It seems like your friends don't really trust me or my brothers."

Startled by the voice that suddenly sounded from behind me, I felt my heart jump within my chest. Whirling, I found myself face to face with Kevin. Disregarding the playful smile that appeared upon the side of his lips, I muttered distastefully, "What's there to trust? They don't even know you or your brothers."

With a tilt of his head to the side, he gave me a nonchalant shrug. "Maybe not personally, but I know that they've heard of us if we've heard of them." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Then again, it's not really that big of a secret that we Donnellys – mostly Tommy – have been running the New York Irish mob for a few years now. I guess you can call it a family tradition, but we really decided to secure our place in the mob in order to protect our Ma." Placing his hands in his jean pockets, he walked to my side, absentmindedly staring at the dimly-lit view in the distance. "Well, at least you already knew the bit about the Donnellys knowing about the Saints. You took one of my files by accident, didn't you?"

I found myself incapable of replying to such a simple question. I had no idea why, but in Kevin's presence, I let my defenses down, fearing neither him nor his actions. He was part of the Irish mob, aye, but he radiated kindness and patience that seemed uncharacteristic of typical mafiosos.

He lowered his gaze upon my face when I didn't reply. After a few minutes of awkward silence, he piped up, "You alright? You seemed a little bit upset back there."

"I'm fine," I replied curtly without a flinch.

Judging from his expression, he didn't believe me for a split second. Tilting his head to the side as his gaze clung onto my form once more, he questioned, "So what about you?"

Not meeting his inquiring gaze, I repeated flatly, "What about me?"

"Do you trust us Donnellys?"

"Trust is a loaded word," I answered promptly, letting out a curt exhale. My eyes flickering upwards to meet his curious stare, I declared tight-lipped, "But if you and your brothers are intent on getting rid of the son of a bitch O'Malley and his cronies, then maybe you and the MacManuses all share common interests."

He leaned forward inquisitively, mirthful eyes examining my face. "By the sound of that, I sense that common interest extends to you as well." Expression emanating an inner battle, he then quietly admitted, "I knew who you were the moment I bumped into you at the Irish Embassy, Lourdes. We Donnellys all know what happened between you, the MacManuses, and Ciaran and his mob."

I looked at him wide-eyed, having no thought to conceal my shock. "What?"

_This web is becoming more and more complicated._

He gave me another indifferent shrug. "Tommy's well informed. We've got men in a lot of cities. Plus, you have no idea how fast word spreads nowadays." Then, wrinkling his face in mocking distaste, he teasingly piped up, "But you actually _dated_ the bastard Ciaran?"

Suddenly angered by this good-natured poke, I lifted a stern finger up to his nose. "Shut the hell up, Donnelly! You don't know what the fuck you're talking about." Feeling the surge of emotions and memories, I wrapped my arms around me to elicit some warmth and comfort. Without another word, I immediately made a move to walk away from him and back into the bar.

Realizing his scathing blunder, Kevin let out a loud groan. Quickly recovering, he hastily made his way to my side once more, gingerly taking my arm. Turning me to face him, he blurted, "Look, I'm sorry. It's not my place to bring that up. I was just trying to lighten the mood…" Mussing his curled hair, he reasoned, "But we thought that you may have had information about Ciaran and his men – or even be a part of their mob – so we did research on you, too."

_Great_, I thought in complete dishumour, _now I know that I'm being _internationally_ spied on. Is there no more fucking privacy in this fucking world?_

"Listen, O'Keefe knows everything that's been going on. He knows everythin' about you, Lourdes." Kevin was rambling now, though kept my arm in his grasp. "We told him to give you the assignment on the Irish mob in Boston to see if you'd bring the Saints to the surface…"

"What?" I let out an unbridled shriek of annoyance as I tried once more to unsuccessfully shrug the tall Irishman from my being. "My _boss_ is part of the _Irish mob_?"

"_Our_ mob, Lourdes." Kevin was quick to correct, expression softening as he took another step forward to enclose the space between us. The way that he looked at me with such compassion in his orbs made my breath catch upon my throat. Freely scanning my face as he lightly gripped my other arm with his right hand, he continued sincerely, "But he's told me that he's genuinely fond of you, so you don't have to worry about…"

"Oi, get yer fuckin' hands off o' 'er!"

The next few moments were merely flashes of images. Kevin's hands were suddenly ripped away from my arms as a result of a forceful push that sent him staggering towards the sidewalk. Hearing a string of shouts and curses, I caught a glimpse of an irate Murphy quickly advancing towards the stumbling Irishman, fists locked and firmly held upon his sides. _Leave it to Irishmen to be so damn hot-headed! _With wide eyes, I yelled, "Murphy, wait! He didn't mean any harm, he…" Though, the violent swing of his arm that sent his fist right upon Kevin's stomach exhibited that Murphy hadn't heard my cries. I placed a hand upon my mouth in disbelief as I saw Kevin doubling over in utter pain. Murphy continued to violently push at the Donnelly, spewing numerous threats for even _thinking_ of laying a finger upon me. Meanwhile, the hurting Kevin did his best to defend himself, wildly swinging in return, though failing to land any solid punches upon the fuming MacManus.

Sudden shouts that came from behind us startled me. Twisting my head towards the sounds of the voices, I caught sight of Connor and Tommy sprinting from the entrance of McGuinty's towards where Murphy and Kevin continued to brawl. I could only watch helplessly as the two attempted to halt the fight, screaming and shouting at their respective brothers.

"Murph, get a fuckin' hold o' yerself!" Connor angrily hissed, hooking his arms around Murphy's in order to hold him back. "The fuck is wrong with ye?"

"Washroom my fuckin' ass!" Tommy snarled with bared teeth, mercilessly pushing at Kevin's chest. He narrowed his eyes as he barked, "Kevin, what the fuck did you do?"

As Kevin pressed a hand upon the right side of his bleeding mouth, he responded irritably, "Nothin'! I was just…"

"Don't ye _ever_ lay a finger on 'er _ever again_, ye hear me, Donnelly?" Murphy ruthlessly barked, eyes afire as they locked with Kevin's. It was difficult to miss the predatorial-like stare that emanated from Murphy's orbs, and by the look of Kevin's expression, he knew that the MacManus' implied threat was definitely not an empty one.

As the two men subsequently simmered down as a result of their brothers' chiding, I jogged over to Murphy's side, immediately entwining my fingers with his. "Murphy, he meant no harm, I swear it." I explained in slight distress, shooting an apologetic look at the Donnelly brothers behind me. "We were just talking, and that's it."

The daggers within Murphy's eyes somewhat dissipated as his stare transferred from the Donnelly brothers to my form. With a heaving chest, he snapped, "Why the fuck was he touchin' ye?"

"He was only trying to calm me down," I honestly replied, tenderly grazing the sides of my fingers upon his flushed cheeks. "Whatever it looked like to you…it wasn't like that."

Murphy shot another look of distrust in the direction of the Donnellys. Seeing that they were now trying to rebuild bridges with Connor a few meters from us, Murphy gave me a nod of acquiesce. "Alright."

Even for an Irishman, Murphy definitely had a short fuse. Relieved that I had managed to dissuade him from fighting once more, I tugged at his arm in order to encourage him to walk back into the pub and forget about the "incident". Swallowing, I didn't miss the dark look that he momentarily shot the younger Donnelly brother before heading inside. As I turned back before walking into the pub, I locked eyes with Kevin once more. He flashed me look of apology, turned on his heel, and then began to irritably walk away from Connor and his brother.

How was this alliance_ ever_ going to work?

3 3 3

**I do apologize if this installment seemed a bit rushed, because, well, it was! I was too excited about writing the next chapter, so I just thought to get this out of the way. Hope you liked it anyway! xx IFHD**


	7. Son of a

**A/N: I hope everyone had a nice St. Patty's Day! I'm still trashed. I was going to update yesterday as a present, but you can all imagine what I was out doing. haha I'm going to be pretty busy preparing for Ireland and whatnot for the next few weeks, but I will try to update asap. Thank you to alandava, ivyshortcake, IrishSaints, dragonzfire718 and CrimsonKissMJ for reviewing.**

**If you haven't done so, check out my newest story (yes, **_**another**_** new BDS fic), "In His Eyes". Cheers! xx IFHD**

**P.S. I use my French skills in this chapter (I was doing French homework while writing this, haha), so here are the translations:**

- "_Je pense que c'est mieux si tu m'attends ici, dehors de la salle. Je ne pense pas que tu sois besoin d'entendre ce que se passe pendant le rendez-vous. __Je ne veux pas que tu sois inquiété._" **I think that it's best if you wait for me here, outside of the room. I don't think you need to hear what's going on during the meeting. ****I don't want you to worry.**

- "_Je veux être dans la salle et savoir ce que se passe!_ " **I want to be in the room and know what's going on!**

- "_Pour moi, ma chéri ?_"**For me, my darling?**

- "_Cela ne prendra pas longtemps. __Je te promettre, d'accord?"_ **This will not take long. I promise you, alright?**

- "_D'accord. Je t'attendrai ici._" **Alright. I'll wait for you here.**

3 3 3

**Chapter 7: Son of a…**

3 3 3

_**"Time Of Dying"**_

_**By: Three Days Grace**_

_On the ground I lay  
Motionless in pain  
I can see my life flashing before my eyes  
Did I fall asleep?  
Is this all a dream  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

_I will not die (I will not die)  
I will survive_

_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_

_On this bed I lay  
Losing everything  
I can see my life passing me by  
Was it all too much  
Or just not enough  
Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_

3 3 3

It was no doubt that yesterday was a night of revelations and tensions. Needless to say, Murphy's brash action of picking a fight with the younger Donnelly brother only managed to loosen the already rocky MacManus-Donnelly alliance. Though, having no qualms about what he believed was his protection of my being, Murphy merely brushed off Connor's irritated chidings and had no intention of rectifying the situation with either of the Donnellys.

I was wholly uncomfortable with the fact that I was becoming involved in all of this – that I _had_ been involved in all of this even without my knowing it. _My current boss was a part of the Irish mob? I was traced and spied on even before I landed in Boston?_ Albeit ensured protection at all sides from all forms of Irish mob bastardry, I still wasn't reassured of Murphy's and Connor's safety, which was my prime concern at the moment. The Donnellys themselves, I must admit, seemed harmless enough, but it was what they were dragging the MacManuses into that I wholeheartedly despised. 

It was entirely convenient – or intelligent, rather – that the next time the MacManus twins met with the Donnelly brothers was at the Boston Police Department. I was keeping Murphy company in his cubicle when Smecker peeked his head in and announced the presence of the Donnelly brothers at the station. Seeing Murphy slightly tense at this, I lightly rubbed his upper back in an effort to calm him. A few moments later, Connor appeared from behind Smecker and immediately met our stares. With a curt tilt of his head and a warning look to his twin, Connor motioned for us to follow. Murphy and I stood without a word and trailed behind as the four of us made our way towards the main atrium.

At the first sight of us, Kevin's eyes locked upon my form as he automatically made a move to walk over towards me. His plan was subsequently foiled by Tommy, who held out an arm upon his chest in order to hold him back. Sharing a few, quiet words, Kevin ultimately nodded in acquiesce, though his eyes continued to cling to mine. To my right side, Murphy and Connor shared some words of their own, speaking calmly in fluent Spanish as they made eye-contact with the Donnelly brothers across the room.

Curious looks from the officers and the detectives around us contributed to the silent battle between the MacManuses and the Donnellys. By the apprehensive look upon their faces and the lack of bickering and banter amongst them, I had no doubt that they knew what had transpired the night before.

"Now that you boys are here," Smecker then interjected through the stifling tension within the room, "Let's get this meeting started, shall we?"

A momentary truce was solidified between the four Irishmen as they threw Smecker a nod of understanding. Resembling a tiny army, the MacManuses, Donnellys and the detectives and officers of the station fell in line to follow Smecker into an adjacent briefing room. Through the sounds of shuffling feet and creaking chairs, I closely followed Murphy and Connor, who were both lost in their own polylingual discussion. When I reached the threshold of the room, to my annoyance, Fiona consciously stepped in front of my form, wholly blocking my path.

"The meeting's kind of confidential." In a show of contrived disappointment, Fiona shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head curtly to the side. "Sorry."

_What the fuck is this bitch on about? Confidential my fuckin' ass! _When she made a move to close the door, I wildly stuck a foot in front of me in order to prop the door open. I snapped, though keeping my voice in check, "_Excuse_ me, but nobody ever told me that this meeting was classified or confidential or was only for those working at the Station. I came here for this meeting, so I'm sure as hell going to be present for it." I flashed her a mocking smile. "So if you'd be so kind to politely step out of my way…"

"Lourdes…" Murphy then appeared from the doorway, shifting in front of Fiona. Lowering his head so that his lips were only a few inches from my ear, he said in French, "_Je pense que c'est mieux si tu m'attends ici, dehors de la salle. __Je ne pense pas que tu sois besoin d'entendre ce que se passe pendant le rendez-vous. Je ne veux pas que tu sois inquiété._"

"Murphy!" I hissed as inconspicuously as possible, sternly eyeing him before my gaze drifted to the complacent Fiona. "_Je veux être dans la salle et savoir ce que se passe!_ "

"_Pour moi, ma chéri ?_" He softly pleaded, cupping my face in his hands and delicately kissing my lips. "_Cela ne prendra pas longtemps. Je te promettre, d'accord?"_

Closing my eyes at the pleading in his tone, I finally nodded in acquiesce. "_D'accord. Je t'attendrai ici._"

From the unperceptive expression that was beset upon Fiona's countenance, I knew that she didn't comprehend a word that passed between Murphy and me. Though, when she saw that Murphy turned on his heel and began to walk into the meeting room once more – without me in tow, for that matter – a brilliant smile appeared on her face. Placing a hand upon Murphy's shoulder as she began to follow him, she ensued to throw me a pleased look. And with that, she slammed the glass door upon my face, the blinds rattling at the impact.

I let out a contemptuous scoff at her blatant audacity. Although I tried to disregard her entirely, Fiona's haughty dismissal still irked me. _Who the bloody fuck does she think she is? _With a snarl, I spun on my heels and stalked towards the now empty atrium in order to find a seat. Plopping down on the nearest swivel chair, I irritably crossed my arms in front of me and kept my fiery gaze upon the visible briefing room.

Now, I would've accepted my current position, albeit through gritted teeth, it if weren't for what I saw through the glass windows a few minutes later. Wholly adding to my irritation, Fiona took a close seat beside Murphy. At the front of the group, I spotted her leaning in towards his face, hand freely grazing his leg and playfully pushing at his shoulders as they shared a few words. Pressing her left shoulder and arm upon his chest, they simultaneously let out a laugh even amidst the seriousness within the room. Even when Connor desired Murphy's attention, Fiona persisted on carrying on her conversation with Murphy, entirely brushing off the looks that she was receiving from those around her.

_Fuck this shit! I don't need this aggravation!_

Snarling, I abruptly stood and stalked towards Murphy's cubicle in order to retrieve my belongings. Roughly placing on my coat and snatching my purse from the table, I decided that home was the _perfect_ place to be at that particular moment. With a dismissive gait and a flippant gesture at the closed door, I walked past the briefing room without looking inside, now disinterested in what was transpiring within. Jogging down the steps of the station, I scanned my surroundings, shielding my eyes from the sun as I deliberated on the fastest way home.

As I made it upon the sidewalk, screeching tires from behind me suddenly caught my attention. Instinctively twisting my head to my side, I spotted a black Mercedes pulling up to my side. With the bumper almost colliding with my body, I hopped backwards in an effort to evade the halting vehicle, subsequently losing my balance and crashing upon the gritty concrete below. As I groaned in pain, I then heard the opening of several doors, followed by hissed commands. Through the blazing sunlight, I saw two large figures step on either side of me, muttering to one another in lowered voices. My effort to stand was aided by the two burly men, who lithely lifted me up to my own feet as they began to unceremoniously drag me towards the vehicle. Screaming and struggling, I utilized all of my strength as I suddenly realized their true intentions: kidnap.

The coming adrenaline may have come from my past experiences, or maybe just from the current anger that I felt towards Fiona, but nevertheless, I began to maniacally fight to escape their vice grips. Fuming, I didn't care about the consequences of my actions – all I wanted to do was get away. With more shouts, I twisted and turned, kneeing one of the men in the solar plexus and managing to awkwardly headbutt the other upon the chin. Although feeling a bit lightheaded as a result of the latter move, I fought to remain conscious of what was happening. When I didn't feel either of their grips loosen from my body, I wildly shoved my elbows upon their chests, stomping at their toes with all of my might. Albeit freed from their grasps, I felt a large palm smack me across the face, sending me towards the ground once more.

"Don't ye fuckin' hurt 'er, ye bastards! Just get 'er in the fuckin' car!"

Amidst disheveled hair, I managed to look up and eye the speaker. Through the open back door, I spotted what I thought was a familiar face. I felt as though my orbs were seeing a mirage, that they were placing tricks on me. Squinting my eyes as my stare clung onto this figure in the vehicle, my memories regressed to a clear picture of Ciaran: the curve of his nose, the almond-shaped blue eyes, and the thinness of his lips. The man in the backseat shared all of these characteristics, save for the flowing, wavy blonde hair. Gulping at who I assumed to be Cillian himself, I narrowed my eyes in simultaneous confusion and horror, wondering how he and his cronies were in the city in the first place.

As I began to be pulled by my hair once more, murderous cries and curses came from the entrance of the station. Gaze shooting upwards, I perceived Connor and Kevin racing down from the concrete steps and sprinting to my side. At the sight of them, the two men who held me instantly disposed of me upon the sidewalk, finding that they couldn't drag me within the vehicle. Hopping back into the car, they slammed the door shut, automatically shielding themselves. Angered by their cowardice, I grasped a nearby rock to the side of my foot, throwing it upon the automobile with all of my might. Although the missile shattered a back window, the car screeched to a start, tires leaving black, rubber marks upon the road.

"No, Connor, don't shoot!" Kevin yelled as he saw that Connor had followed the vehicle and was reaching beneath his coat. Taking me protectively in his arms, Kevin cried, "There are people everywhere! We can't risk it!"

With a curse, Connor halted in his tracks at the corner of the street and lowered his gun. He let out a menacing growl as he contemptuously eyed the vehicle haphazardly careening through the streets in the distance.

"Sons of bitches!" I hissed as Kevin tried to calm me down by placing his hands upon my shoulders. Yelling after the bastards, I snarled, "I dare you to try that again, motherfuckers!"

Kevin seemed to be taken aback by my overt hysteria. As I attempted to catch my breath, he helped me stand and held me steady, surveying my face and body for any serious damage. "Lourdes, are you alright?"

Politely pushing myself from his grasp, I made a motion to brush the dirt from my clothes. "I'm fuckin' fine."

Kevin furrowed his brows in worry and ensued to extend the sleeves of his sweater. Ever so delicately, he reached out his covered hand towards my face, wiping the dirt from the side of my cheek and forehead. Allowing this innocent contact, I merely stared at him silently, observing his undecipherable expression. As his bright-green eyes meet my own, I felt his thumb gently caressing the side of my cheek, all innocence dissipating. I furrowed my brows in confusion. _What exactly is he doing?_ A few moments later, as though breaking from a trance, he instantly retrieved his hand as though my skin burnt him, turned on his heel, and made his way towards Connor without another word.

"Lourdes!" Murphy's voice boomed from the top of the station's steps. Catching a glimpse of my disheveled state, he raced down the stairs, two at a time, and made his way to my side. Automatically taking me in his arms, he pressed his lips upon my forehead before questioning, "What the fuck happened? Are ye hurt?"

"No." I quietly answered, placing my head upon his chest.

"She was almost kidnapped." Connor recounted as he and Kevin walked over to our side. Surveying my state in almost disbelief as he placed a hand upon my shoulder, he continued, "She fought her way outta the car somehow, thank God."

"It's called punching, stomping and kicking." I muttered in utter dishumour, irritably ruffling my hair as I eyed the three men. "What the fuck is Cillian doing here in Boston?"

Instantly catching all of their attentions, this question elicited bewildered looks from them all. As Tommy later appeared at the entrance of the station after hearing the commotion, Kevin jogged up the stairs in order to inform him of what had just transpired.

Murphy clenched his jaw, nodding towards Connor. "Smecker just finished telling us that the story's out about us and the Donnellys workin' together. Cillian knows about everythin' that's happenin', about this entire operation."

"Didn't take them long ta get 'ere and cause some ruckus." Connor snarled through gritted teeth, massaging his temples. "Why the fuck would they try and kidnap Lourdes?"

"I must be loveable to psychopathic kidnappers, for one. I must be the kidnappable type." I scoffed irritably, pulling my coat more tightly around my body. "Second, if Cillian and his cronies are as well informed as any of you, then they'd know that I'm affiliated with you in one way or another." I shrugged. "What better way to get you all out in the open than with leverage? Taking everything into consideration, I'm the perfect candidate if they need a hostage."

The twins shared a thoughtful moment of silence, accepting his plausible explanation. After a few passing moments, Connor piped up in a low tone, "They must've been lurkin' 'round the police station earlier to do_ somethin'_…"

"…but instead recognized me and decided to do a little assault and kidnapping in broad fuckin' daylight instead," I grumbled, clenching my jaw. "I need a fuckin' drink."

"Ye need ta get home." Murphy instantly slinked an arm around my lower back, pulling me protectively towards him. "Come on, love."

As Murphy and I made our way to his vehicle, I saw that Kevin and Tommy were both looking towards us with concerned expressions. With my eyes meeting Kevin's once more as I stepped into the car, I threw him a discreet nod of thanks for his earlier concern for my safety. Hands in his pockets, a small smirk appeared upon the side of his lips, appearing to understand my gesture. Then, as Murphy began to start the car, I caught a glimpse of Kevin through the side mirror, his stare never breaking as we drove off into the distance. 

3 3 3

**A/N: Hmm...Kevin, what's going on in that mind of yours? Hope you all enjoyed that! xx IFHD**


	8. Friction

**A/N: Hmm, I seem to be swaying you all to Kevin's side! Muahaha I'm just evil like that, I guess! Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter: ivyshortcake, BelhavenOnTap, Jade Opal, dragonzfire718, IrishSaints, and alandava. Aren't you all glad I broke through my writer's block with this story? haha! Enjoy this next installment of this (as alandava so aptly put it) MacManelly crossover!**

**P.S. If you haven't checked out my newest piece, "In His Eyes", please do so when you have the time and let me know what you think! Cheers! xxIFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 8: Friction**

3 3 3

_**"Angels"**_

_**By: Augustana**_

_Would I fight with an angel_

_Would I leave here with you_

_Or would I take it all back if_

_If I find something new?_

_I know there's something out there_

_I know there's something I fear_

_Run away from here_

_I know there's_

_something more to this_

_In this dark room,_

_nothing that shines_

_Run away from here_

_I'm falling, I am down_

_I've fallen, are you around?_

_And I know it's you_

_I'm leaving, I'm with me_

_I'm leaving, tell me the truth_

_And I know it's you_

_Would I fly with an angel_

_(Fly with you...)_

_Would I leave here with you_

_(Fly with you...)_

_Would I take it all back if_

_(Fly...)_

_If I find something new_

_(Fly...)_

3 3 3

_**Flashback**_

"_Tommy, are you sure Lourdes is engaged to Murphy?"_

_The dark-haired Donnelly peevishly rolled his eyes at his younger brother's hissed inquiry. Taking a relaxed seat beside Kevin, Tommy curtly replied in ill-humour, "Yes, Kevin, I'm sure."_

_Kevin pursed his lips in simultaneous thought and confusion whilst scratching his head. "Um…then what's that over there?"_

_The keen green eyes of both Donnelly brothers landed upon Murphy and Fiona, who sat and giggled together only a few rows down from where they were settled. Flirtatiously flipping her hair to the side, Fiona leaned in more closely towards Murphy's visage, her lips brushing upon his cheek and ear as she began to excitedly tell him a story that wasn't audible to either Donnelly brother. Murphy seemingly had no qualms about this gesture, calmly allowing her advances and even listening intently to what she had to say. A bewildered expression subsequently appeared on Tommy's face at this scene, wholly perplexed at what was transpiring before him. "Okay, maybe I'm not so sure."_

_A look of distaste graced Kevin's face as he abruptly shook his curly head. "What a dick," he mumbled under his breath in dishumour, crossing his arms with sobriety upon his broad chest. Eyes eagerly scanning through the room as the officers and detectives piled in, he impatiently tapped his foot. "Where's Lourdes?" Head snapping from side to side in slight anxiety, Kevin was determined to find her before the meeting began._

_"Kevin, shut up and pay attention." Shoving his brother's arm in admonishment, Tommy motioned his head towards Smecker, who had begun to speak in front of his medium-sized audience._

_Frankly, Kevin couldn't be bothered with what the FBI agent had to impart to them. He was more concerned with why Lourdes wasn't present at this meeting, as she was connected to what they would be discussing. As a sudden movement through the office blinds caught his eye, Kevin's vision landed upon the woman whom he had been searching for. He straightened his spine as he caught a glimpse of Lourdes, stomping off towards the exit of the station in quick strides. Without a word to his brother, Kevin instantly stood, his gaze not breaking from Lourdes' retreating form. As he dashed towards the door of the meeting room before Tommy could stop him, he saw that Connor was making a move to turn the knob of the door as well. Eyes connecting, both Irishmen understood what the other thought to do. With a simultaneous nod, they exited the room and raced after the fleeing Lourdes._

_**End Flashback**_

I continued to simmer in unrestrained anger as Murphy proceeded to clean and bandage the scrapes and bruises upon my arms, neck, and face. Although he eyed me from time to time in both curiosity and concern, I refused to meet his gaze, keeping my eyes wholly fixated upon the white, carpeted floor of my apartment. I barely said a word to him during the drive to my home, only responding to his questions with a word or two when I deemed it entirely necessary to do so. Though, I admired Murphy's continuing patience. He didn't erupt in unbridled upset at my unresponsiveness and managed to keep his reserve the entire time. However, that was still little consolation to what had just transpired just a few hours prior.

Without a word, he recollected all of the first-aid materials and mindlessly stuffed them into his knapsack. Then, sitting up and turning to my form, he reached out his hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Scanning my face and body to make sure all was well, he then ensued to lean forward to place a tender kiss upon my slick lips. Patiently waiting for me to reciprocate his advances, he pulled back slightly, staring deeply into my eyes.

Gingerly feeling the exposed skin of Murphy's neck, I met his stare with equal measure, observing the expression upon his countenance. My anger somewhat dissipated as I made a move to straddle him, gently pressing his back upon the couch and running my fingers down his hard torso. Instantly removing his shirt and tossing it aside, my lips found his own in a searing kiss, and then trailed down to his neck, chest, then down to his abdomen.

Letting out a ragged exhale, he teasingly ground his hips upon mine, cupping my rear with his hand. The slight friction was already enough to make me automatically hiss between my teeth. As our lips met once more in a scorching kiss, I felt his other hand trailing up my spine underneath my shirt, intent on undoing the clasp of my bra. Expertly, he rid me of both my bra and shirt, and then carried me in his arms before slowly laying me down upon the couch. With a hand on my breast and his teasing tongue sliding down my abdomen, he brought me to the world of ecstasy once more, eliciting a whimper from my throat. Arching my back in order to press my form even closer to his, I reveled in the warmth that his body emanated, finding some comfort in his presence. This was almost enough to make me forget what had previously transpired.

_Almost._

As he kissed down my stomach and ensued to unbutton my jeans, Murphy's eyes fluttered upwards, inclining his head towards me. He stated breathlessly, "Ye know, I'm kinda upset that ye left the station like that." Placing even more butterfly kisses upon my stomach and breasts, he moved forward, hands on either side of my shoulders as he hovered over me. "Ye didn't even tell me that ye were leavin'…"

"You were busy." I quickly snapped, desire entirely fleeting from my body by this point. _He_ was upset? _Him?_ Inwardly scoffing, I proceeded to push him from my form and hurriedly place my clothes back on. I wholly disregarded the confused expression that he wore and continued in an icy tone, "Besides, what the fuck was I supposed to do in the police station, anyway? Wait outside like you told me to like a good little dog?"

"Okay, _now_ you're overreacting." He rejoined tersely, ruffling his hair in irritation. He merely studied me through squinted eyes as I stood from the couch and fretfully fixed my blouse. After a few moments of tense silence, he blurted a little more softly, "Look, if this has anything to do with Fiona…"

_Fuck, I hate that name. Fiona the Fuckface. _

_It fits, and alliteration owns._

I snapped my head to the side to meet his gaze once more. "Whoever said that it did?" I snarled accusatorily, wildly fixing my disheveled hair into a high pony-tail.

"Fine." Murphy curtly conceded, standing as well. Gripping his shirt and placing it back on, he closely followed me as I began to walk away from him. Mumbling a curse in Irish Gaelic, he proceeded to step in front of my way and wholly block my path towards the kitchen. Clenching his jaw while he retained his composure, he said sternly, "Lourdes, ye just can't leave like tha' without tellin' me or Con, alright? Even before Cillian an' his cronies got inta town, ye _knew_ it wasn't safe. It's even _more_ dangerous now. Look what 'appened!"

Stubbornly crossing my arms in front of me and pursing my lips in a thin line, I retorted, "Alright _Da_, I'll do what you say. Next time I want to go out and play, I'll make sure that you know _every_ _detail_ of my whereabouts." I attempted to push past him with my shoulder. "Are you happy now?"

At this point, Murphy visibly lost his composure. With his patience tried and tested, he gripped both sides of my arms, jerking me towards him. The dark expression that manifested upon his face made me gulp, though I inclined my head to show the angered MacManus my continuing defiance. Keeping a steady hold on my form, he boomed, "Oi, I promised yer parents and me own that I'd take care o' ye, alright? So if anythin' happens ta ye without me knowin' it, I'll feel responsible."

I instantly pried myself away from his tight grasp, hissing through gritted teeth. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Murphy, I'm a grown woman!" Digging a finger upon my chest, I declared with conviction, "I can take care of my fuckin' self."

He snorted. "Aye, ye really showed that just a few hours ago."

Losing the last grain of my patience, I roughly shoved him upon the chest before finally pushing past him to get into the kitchen. It wasn't long before he retaliated. In a swift motion, he pinned my back upon the kitchen counter. Pressing his body upon mine, he kept his hands on either side of my hips in order to lock me firmly in place. With narrowed, seething eyes, he barked, "What the fuck's gotten inta ye lately? Jaysus fuckin' Christ, Lourdes! It's like ye've completely changed!"

"Oh, I don't know, Murphy." I replied with biting sarcasm, feigning thoughtfulness as I tapped my lips with an index finger, "It _may_ have something to do with almost being kidnapped _again_ and reliving all of the traumatic memories of the past few months. Do you think that's a plausible explanation? Hmm?"

Unimpressed by my latter exhibition, he gave his head a curt tilt to the side. "Alright, we can't make space for yer sarcasm in this room anymore."

Pushing him from my form in order to retrieve a well-deserved beer from the fridge, I muttered under my breath, "How about we make some room for Fiona, then? I'm sure _she_ wouldn't mind."

Murphy's keen hearing unfortunately picked up on this retort. Repeatedly pointing at me as he finally placed his finger upon the root of my dishumour, he exclaimed, "Ha! So this _does_ have something ta do with Fiona, dunnit?" Taking a few steps towards me to enclose the space between us once more, he proclaimed through gritted teeth, "I fuckin' knew it!"

Not meeting his gaze and coolly taking a sip of my beer, I calmly replied, "I do believe it has something to do with a shite day in general. Just leave it at that, will you, Sherlock Holmes?"

He irritably closed the door of the fridge with a violent swing of the arm, making me jump. With his arms wide open to his sides, he cried, "And why the hell are ye so fuckin' pissed off for? I can fuckin' see the way that that Kevin Donnelly keeps lookin' at ye!" A guilty finger was raised to my nose. "I know ye see it too, Lourdes, so don't even fuckin' start." Eyes following my form as I nonchalantly moved about the room, he scoffed, "It's not like he's being incon-fuckin'-spicuous about it now, is he?"

Gulping down the rest of my drink and dismissively tossing the bottle in the trash, I began to walk away from the irate Irishman and head back into the living room. Hearing his heavy footsteps behind me, I called out, "Well, then! Maybe I should sit on his lap and try and make out with him." Swirling to face him with raised brows, I questioned mockingly, "That'll make everything _much_ better, don't you think?"

Angrily stalking to his belongings and violently gathering them into his knapsack, Murphy commented, "Ye know, ye should really be crowned Queen of Sarcasmville."

I snorted, quickly gripping and throwing an empty cigarette pack at the side of his face. "Yeah? And you should be inaugurated High Holy Emperor of I-can't-make-witty-remarks-for-shit-ville!"

Letting out a scoff as the cardboard box bounced off his head, Murphy twisted his head to face me, finger repeatedly wagging towards my form. "Fuck, ye really _do_ know how ta piss me off, don't ye? Just like our younger years." Hauling his bag above and around his shoulders, he turned away completely from my form and stomped towards my main door, fuming. "I'm the fuck outta here."

And with that, he slammed the door shut behind him, the doorknob rattling in its wake.

His abrupt exit triggered something within me. Every bit of feigned composure shattered to pieces as sadness, anger and pain engulfed my being. Falling to my knees, I finally burst into tears, wrapping my arms around my body in order to elicit a bit of comfort. Finding none, I merely huddled beside the back of the couch and buried my face upon my knees.

3 3 3

**A/N: Murphy, what the hell is wrong with you?! GAH! Hope you all liked that! xx IFHD**


	9. Shades of Grey

**A/N: I do apologize if this isn't a fluffy romance. (Then again, I'm not one to write fluffy romances anyway!) I have a tendency of basing my characters' relationships on my own, so really, a fairy tale romance is NOT on the menu. HA! Just be prepared for a rollercoaster ride, because this romance between Lourdes and Murphy is based on a VERY difficult relationship I had. Enjoy, muahaha! (You'd think that rehashing the painful memories of my past in stories would be traumatic, but really, it's a very effective form of catharsis!) **

**Thanks to ivyshortcake, dragonzfire718, IrishSaints, A Hotter Kiss A Better Touch, bella89, BelhavenOnTap and Jade Opal for reviewing last chapter. I really enjoyed them. Bel, yours was just BRILLIANT! haha! I'll try to work on this fic as much as I can, but "In His Eyes" has totally consumed me! Enjoy! xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 9: Shades of Grey**

3 3 3

"_**On Fire"**_

_**By: Switchfoot**_

_They tell you where you need to go  
They tell you when you'll need to leave  
They tell you what you need to know  
They tell you who you need to be_

_But everything inside you knows  
There's more than what you've heard  
There's so much more than empty conversations  
Filled with empty words_

_And you're on fire  
When He's near you  
You're on fire  
When He speaks  
You're on fire  
Burning at these mysteries_

_Give me one more time around  
Give me one more chance to see  
Give me everything You are  
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)_

_Cause everything inside me looks like  
Everything I hate  
You are the hope I have for change  
You are the only chance I'll take_

_When I'm on fire  
When You're near me  
I'm on fire  
When You speak  
And I'm on fire  
Burning at these mysteries  
These mysteries..._

_I'm standing on the edge of me  
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.  
And I've been standing on the edge of me  
Standing on the edge_

_And I'm on fire  
When You're near me  
I'm on fire  
When You speak  
(Yea) I'm on fire  
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries  
Ah you're the mystery  
You're the mystery_

3 3 3

It has been a couple of days since I've last seen or even spoken with Murphy. Granted, we've shared disputes in the past, but it seemed as though this latest argument was dragging on longer than normal. Connor had even called me a few times, wondering what was going on and asking about my well-being. I tried my best to reassure the worried Saint, but I never entirely explained by I was not on speaking terms with his brother – my _darling_ fiancée.

Finishing a relaxing bath, one that was much needed, I wrapped a towel around my dripping body as I stepped out of the bathroom. As I traversed the living room in order to make my way into my bedroom, it was then that I heard the doorbell ring. Stopping in my tracks, I blinked a few times, wondering who would visit me at this hour. With my back tense and defences heightened, I hurriedly snatched a poker from my fireplace before cautiously looking through the peephole. When I recognized the visitor, I relaxed.

Kevin Donnelly.

Releasing the breath that I had been holding, I tossed the poker aside, unlocked the door, and pulled it halfway open.

"Hey." He cheerily greeted, hands in his pockets. Then, seeing my current state of undress, his eyebrows immediately raised in bewilderment. With a blush creeping upon his cheeks, he turned on his heel and diverted his attention to, well, practically _anywhere_ but my form. A few moments later, he piped up, flustered, "Whoa. Sorry. I…erm…"

I threw him a small smile in order to ease his visible discomfort. "Give me a minute or two, alright?"

He nodded repeatedly, though still not meeting my eyes. "Yeah. Sure. No problem. Take your time."

Politely closing the door, I proceeded to walk into my bedroom. Throwing on some jeans and a tank top and brushing out my damp hair, I made myself at least somewhat presentable to company. With an exhale, I eyed myself in the mirror before heading towards the front door. When I opened it once more, the curly-haired Irishman blurted with a wince:

"You're creeped out that I know where you live, aren't you?"

I let out a light laugh at his pained expression, seeing that he seemed to be genuinely afraid of my response. "No, not really," I replied honestly. "I was sort of expecting you to know where I lived, actually." When he responded with a slow nod of understanding, I opened the door more widely and asked, "Do you want to come in?"

"Um…" His eyes curiously scanned the surroundings behind me as though looking for something – or someone. "Well, if you're not busy…"

"No, I'm not busy." I shook my head to support my reply, then stepped back a few more paces. Closing the door as he reluctantly stepped inside, I eyed him expectantly. "Is everything alright?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." He replied, smirking, as we sat down upon the couch. All hesitation seemed to leave him as he continued, "When Tommy and I didn't hear from you after the whole kidnap attempt and everything, we were worried."

"Thanks for your concern." I threw him a smile. "I'm fine."

After a few moments of comfortable silence, he piped up, "I know we told O'Keefe to give you the assignment about the Irish Mob in Boston, but he said that the report still had to be done." Taking out a file from his inner coat pocket, he then held it in front of me. "So here. That's all the information that you might need. Just don't tell O'Keefe that I gave this to you, alright? He'll bite my head off if he knew where I got this from."

"Oh, thank you!" Beaming, I gratefully accepted the file, briefly looking through it before placing it upon the table. _This Donnelly brother had just saved me _weeks_ of work!_ "You really didn't have to do that, Kevin."

He threw me a nonchalant shrug. "It was the least I could do. We asked him to give you the assignment in the first place. We might as well be the ones to help you through it." After a brief pause, he questioned out of the blue, "So how long have you and Murphy been together?"

"Well, it's kind of complicated, really." I pursed my lips in thought, slightly taken aback as to why Kevin was interested in that bit of information. I attempted to explain, "We've known each other from as far back as I can remember. We grew up with one another…and then he and Connor and to move to Boston when they were both fifteen…"

"Oh." He replied in a low tone and furrowed his brows. "That sucks."

"Aye, tell me about it. And about our recent reunion, you probably know all about that." I curtly tilted my head to the side, finding myself accepting the fact that my life seemed to be an open book when it came to this Donnelly brother. I didn't know why I was suddenly so open with him, why I felt _comfortable_ discussing the minute details of my life with him. "But when he left me so suddenly all those years ago? I think it was one of the most painful things that I've ever experienced in my life. It really ripped my heart into a million pieces."

"Well, at least you have him back." Kevin clasped his hands together in front of him, elbows casually leaning upon his knees. "The most painful thing that I've ever experienced was losing my father…"

My mouth was instantly agape at this unexpected revelation. "Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry…"

The expression in Kevin's eyes was indiscernible. Nodding in understanding through the thick silence, he then stood and walked purposely towards the door. The Donnelly seemed confused about why he had just confided in me the subject of his father's death. Curiously walking behind him, I thought to try and say a few, comforting words. Though, my senses became all awry when he whirled around and abruptly stopped in front of me in order to speak. As I wholly collided into him with a grunt and almost lost my balance in the process, he instinctively held out his hands to grasp at my waist. Holding me steady, we stood motionless and speechless, eyes merely locked with one another.

I could see him becoming visibly flustered as he continued to stare at me. "Sorry," he meekly replied, his once bright-green orbs turning dark. "Like I told you before, I'm pretty clumsy."

His hands remained upon my waist for a few moments longer. I threw him a simultaneously curious and questioning look, though in response, he only held my gaze, eyes searching. I instantly froze as I felt him pull me closer towards him, slightly enclosing the space between us. My breath catching upon my throat, I closed my eyes in apprehension and placed my hands upon his chest in order to keep at least some distance in between us. I felt shivers course through my body as his fingers languidly trailed up my spine. His hot breath danced upon my cheeks as his face inched closer to my own. Discomfort wholly engulfed me then.

"It's alright." Clearing my throat, I stepped away from his form, making a move to open the door. Seeing the Donnelly break from a trance, I reiterated, "No harm done."

Just as I swung the door open, Kevin and I immediately spotted Murphy's form approaching. Kevin's back instantly tensed as he firmly locked eyes with the dark-haired MacManus, who now stood immobile a few meters from us down the hallway. Turning his attention back to me, Kevin threw me a quick, cordial wave, and then proceeded to walk past Murphy without a word. Though, Murphy didn't heed the passing Donnelly with even a glance. His orbs were firmly placed upon my form.

His expression said it all. I could see from his contorted expression that he wholly despised the idea of Kevin being anywhere in my proximity. Purposely walking towards my recoiling form, he barked, "The fuck was _he_ doin' 'ere? The fuck did he want?"

Meeting his furious stare with equal measure, I crossed my arms in front of me and snarled, "I can ask _you_ the same thing."

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I want a decent conversation with my _fiancée_, ta start!" He held out his hands to his sides in visible upset. "But I never knew tha' I needed ta 'ave a reason ta see 'er now!"

I let out a snort, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, and what made you think of _that_ bright idea two days after you fuckin' walked out on me, huh?" I roughly pushed at his chest, unafraid of his reaction. "And maybe if my _fiancée_ didn't act like such a fuckin' jackass, I'd actually deem him worth seeing and being spoken to!"

Eyes irritably scanning the ceiling above, he muttered under his breath, "I knew this wouldn't work."

"Maybe if you think about what you've done, you'll know exactly the reason why." And with that, I resolved to slam the door upon his face.

However, the Saint was having none of it.

Shooting out an arm in a reflex action, Murphy held the door open and stepped inside. With a heaving chest, his blazing orbs fixated on my form with steadfast conviction.

I shook my head in incredulity. "You have some fucking nerve, you know that, MacManus? If you _think_ you can just come barging into my home and…"

At that moment, Murphy suddenly grabbed both of my arms, whirled me around, and roughly pinned me upon the wall. With ardent desire emanating through his expression, he pressed his hips upon my rear. He then began to reach around my hips and hastily unbutton and remove my jeans. Hooking my chin with his forefinger, he twisted my head to face him and immediately captured my lips in his in a searing kiss. Through my whimpers, Murphy roughly slid his fingers in between my panties and began to urgently stroke my fiery core. Moaning into his lips, I slowly succumbed to his ministrations and waved a white flag to resistance. I was falling further and further into a dark abyss with every expert movement of his fingers, arching my head back with a groan of pleasure. As he used his other hand to cup my breast, his strokes only increased in speed, making me cry out repeatedly in sheer ecstasy.

The fervent passion that he exhibited only served to cradle my own wanton desire. What astounded me the most was how infuriation had suddenly morphed into ravenous lust. Having no thought to protest, however, I concentrated on discarding our clothing and throwing them in a forgotten heap beside our feet. With my back still turned to him, Murphy longingly felt my waist and dug his fingers upon my hips. Licking my lips in expectancy, I then felt him slowly entering me. With a breathless cry, I coiled an arm around his neck as he pulled out and thrust in once more, only deeper this time. Impassioned, he repeated the motion over and over, his urgency rising with every push, his fierce cries of pleasure increasing with his impending climax. Beads of sweat trickled down his cheek, neck and torso as his automatic movements consumed him entirely. Albeit barely able to kiss him amidst my ragged breaths and uncontrollable cries, I twisted my head and captured his lips in mine once more.

We both reached our peak at the same time. Bodies shivering in unison, we each let out shaky breaths as the waves of passion consumed us. Kissing the nape of my neck and my shoulder blades as he caught his breath, Murphy pulled out of me, though continued to hold me close. "I know that's not gonna make up fer me actin' like a jackass, but…"

Whirling around to face him, I placed my index finger upon his lips. With a raspy voice, I stated, "But it's a start."

And with that, I captured his slick lips in an ardent kiss as we began to make love once more.

3 3 3

**A/N: Troops, seems like a truce has been reached. But will it be temporary? Till next time! xx IFHD**


	10. Appearances

**A/N****: Well, folks, it's been a VERY long time since I've updated this story. I do apologize, but when I have writer's block, I prefer to stop writing instead of writing pure crap. But here I am again! What pushed me to continue was evidence that you were still reading this and enjoying this. Thanks to those who reviewed: A Hotter Kiss A Better Touch, dragonzfire718, alandava, Jade Opal, IrishSaints, ivyshortcake, pixiebean82, and KittynJenn. Thanks to those who saved this story as well. I really appreciate the support! Enjoy this next installment. **

**xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 10: Appearances**

3 3 3

_**"Indestructible"**_

_**By: Disturbed**_

_Another mission  
The powers have called me away  
Another time  
To carry the colors again  
My motivation  
An oath I've sworn to defend  
To win the honor  
Of coming back home again  
No explanation  
Will matter after we begin  
Unlock the dark destroyer that's buried within  
My true vocation  
And now my unfortunate friend  
You will discover  
A war you're unable to win_

_I'll have you know  
That I've become..._

_Indestructible  
Determination that is incorruptible  
From the other side  
A terror to behold  
Annihilation will be unavoidable  
Every broken enemy will know  
That their opponent had to be invincible  
Take a last look around while you're alive  
I'm an indestructible master of war_

_Another reason  
Another cause for me to fight  
Another fuse uncovered  
Now, for me to light  
My dedication  
To all that I've sworn to protect  
I carry out my orders  
Without a regret  
A declaration  
Embedded deep under the skin  
A permanent reminder  
Of how it began  
No hesitation  
When I am commanded to strike  
You need to know  
That you're in for the fight of your life_

_You will be shown  
How I've become..._

_Indestructible  
Determination that is incorruptible  
From the other side  
A terror to behold  
Annihilation will be unavoidable  
Every broken enemy will know  
That their opponent had to be invincible  
Take a last look around while you're alive  
I'm an indestructible master of war_

_I'm..._

_Indestructible  
Determination that is incorruptible  
From the other side  
A terror to behold  
Annihilation will be unavoidable  
Every broken enemy will know  
That their opponent had to be invincible  
Take a last look around while you're alive  
I am indestructible (indestructible)_

_Indestructible  
Determination that is incorruptible  
From the other side  
A terror to behold  
Annihilation will be unavoidable  
Every broken enemy will know  
That their opponent had to be invincible  
Take a last look around while you're alive  
I'm an indestructible master of war_

3 3 3

Somehow, the MacManus-Donnelly alliance was _functional_, to say the least. Owing to the numerous compromises and truces that Connor and Tommy had agreed upon (as a result of their brothers' continuing bickering, mostly), they were making headway with the issue of Cillian and his mob. Even more surprising was that they were able to keep Murphy and Kevin in check, preventing them from throwing punches at one another every time they met. Now able to trace Cillian's whereabouts in Boston, they were able to plan their first hit as _partners_. Needless to say, I was well nervous about this. Though, in the core of my heart, I did want them to get rid of the bastard and his cronies once and for all. For my own protection and peace of mind, none of the four Irishmen offered to divulge any information to me. Little did they know it only served to increase my worry.

Another week passed before the MacManuses met with the Donnellys at McGuinty's pub once more. Though, neither set of brothers planned this meeting – it was only by chance that they decided to have a relaxed night out in Boston on the same evening at the same establishment. Although one was able to sense the tension between Murphy and Kevin as the Donnelly brothers entered the establishment, both Irishmen remained silent and went about nonchalantly to mind their own business. Contrary to the friction between _them_, however, Connor and Tommy gave each other heart-felt slaps on the back amidst greetings, genuinely content with seeing one another. As Connor handed the Donnelly boys a pint, he nodded over to the booth where Murphy and I sat – funny enough, the same booth where we all shared our first meeting.

I cleared my throat, poking in a semi-serious voice as Murphy and I observed Connor converse with the Donnelly brothers a few meters away, "Murphy, behave. I don't want a bar fight in here tonight, alright? I want to _relax_ for once, aye?"

"Aye, I'll behave right now," Pushing aside his pint, he leaned over the table and ensued to place a trail of kisses upon the side of my neck, "…but I can't promise that I can be'ave tanight, darlin'…"

"Hmm. Good enough for now," I replied with a laugh, shaking my head. Stroking his hair, I kissed his ear as I whispered, "The next time you want to throw a punch at Kevin Donnelly, just remind yourself how hard Connor's been working to keep this alliance in tact."

Slightly shivering at the contact of my lips upon the side of his face, he managed to throw me a light shrug. "Will do, love." Then, only about five seconds later, he recited his new mantra with a thoughtful expression, "Con's been workin' 'ard ta keep this alliance…Con's been workin' 'ard ta keep this alliance…Con's been workin' 'ard –"

Pushing him playfully upon the shoulder, I cried incredulously, "Oh, you are _impossible_, Murphy MacManus! Jaysus!" Through his boisterous laughter, he began to mercilessly tickle my sides, right where he knew I was most sensitive. Shrieking for him to stop through my uncontrollable giggles, he took me in his arms with a growl, playfully nibbling at my ears and lips.

It was then that, through the corners of my eyes, I spotted a set of other patrons entering the pub. My smile entirely vanished as I perceived who walked through the main entrance right behind Smecker. Almost instantly clenching my jaw, I pried myself from Murphy's grasp in annoyance, eyeing him in overt suspicion. "Murphy, what is _she _doing here?"

At that moment, Fiona flashed Murphy a brilliant smile, excitedly waving to him. I raised my eyebrows as Murphy smirked tightly and curtly waved in return. With a sigh, he mumbled, "I'll be back." Without another word or looking back in my direction, he shifted through the booth and strode purposefully towards Fiona and Smecker. I let out a scoff of disbelief as Fiona threw her arms wildly around Murphy's neck and kissed both of his cheeks in greeting. My fingers coiled so tightly upon my pint glass that I was _sure_ that it was going to shatter at any moment into a million pieces. Gulping down the rest of my drink and slamming down the empty glass before me, I continued to seethe quietly, all alone, in the booth.

My mood only worsened when I heard the sounds of cheers and claps. _Aye, go ahead and mock the shit out of me, ye bastards!_ I grumbled inwardly, anger not really directed at anyone but the Fuckface. Doc had stepped upon a small stage situated at the corner of the bar, microphone held firmly in hand. Holding out his free hand in order to quiet the unsurprisingly rowdy crowd, he began, "A-alright ye love-lovely people! O-open mic t-time. FUCK! ASS! S-So if…if ye know 'ow t-ta sing or play an ins-instrument, c-come up 'ere…c-come up 'ere an'…oh, just fuckin' play somethin' fer tha rest o' us! FUCK! ASS!"

Another round of shouts and cheers sounded throughout the semi-packed establishment as those in the crowd eyed each other for any takers on the offer. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Kevin purposefully zigzagging through the crowd. Confidently hopping upon the stage a few seconds later, to the delight of some nearby women, he nodded to Doc in a signal to hand him the nearby guitar. Sitting comfortably upon the provided stool as the instrument was given to him, he was encouraged with loud cheers and whistles, mostly coming from Tommy and Connor.

"Alright, glad to see I have two fans in here. Better than one." He lightly commented, eliciting chuckles and raised glasses towards him from the crowd. As he began to tune the guitar, he proclaimed rather proudly, "I'm Irish, and I'm drunk. So clearly, drunken Irish singing is next on the list." Clearing his throat through the whooping and hollering, he continued, almost sheepishly, "I suck at singing and I suck at playing the guitar, but I just wanted to sing this song for…for someone in the crowd tonight."

Strumming the strings once in preparation, he began in almost a hushed whisper:

_How long have I been in this storm?_

_So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form_

_Water's getting harder to tread_

_With these waves crashing over my head_

At this point, I realized that his attention was wholly directed towards…_me_. His piercing emerald orbs collided with my own. With my lips slightly parted, I continued to watch and listen intently, mesmerized and completely speechless.

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be all right_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

His confidence grew with every passing moment, though he never broke his stare upon me.

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I will get lost into your eyes_

_I know everything will be alright_

_I know everything is alright_

_I know you didn't bring me out here to drown_

_So why am I ten feet under and upside down?_

_Barely surviving has become my purpose_

_Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface_

The intensity of his gaze was too much; it pierced right through me, and I had to break his stare after a few more moments. Eyes fluttering downwards, I swallowed, trying to concentrate on anything in the pub instead of Kevin. With my eyes flickering towards the bar, I caught a glimpse of Tommy irritably massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers; Connor standing stalk still with his jaw visibly clenched, as though attempting to keep his collected composure; and Murphy's eyes narrowed and afire as they alternately switched from Kevin's form to my own. And, to a hint of my irritation, Fiona's lipstick-covered mouth was agape, eyebrows raised in sheer bewilderment, as her eyes landed upon me. Smecker, however, seemed completely unaware of what was discreetly transpiring, merrily drinking his pint and freely chatting with other patrons. Unaware of any of this, Kevin merely continued to perform, wholly concentrated on the ballad…

_If I could just see you_

_Everything would be all right_

_If I'd see you_

_This darkness would turn to light_

_And I will walk on water_

_And you will catch me if I fall_

_And I know everything will be alright_

_I know everything will be alright…_

Then, almost abruptly, he stopped.

Seeing the contorted expression on his countenance, I realized that, with furrowed brows, his attention had turned to the clear, front window of the bar. I knitted my own brows in question, crossing my arms lightly and briefly following where his stare was fixated before looking back at him.

His eyes suddenly grew wide in recognition and panic. Haphazardly dropping the guitar to the side of the stage, he startled almost every patron in the pub as he yelled in a panicked voice into the microphone: "Everyone, duck for cover, _now_!"

Nobody had time to question what the bloody hell he was on about, because right after he finished his sentence, a fusillade of bullets ripped through McGuinty's front windows, shattering them all into a million pieces upon the hardwood floor. Almost instantly, a chorus of panicked screams and shouts sounded amidst the pandemonium as every single person in the bar dropped to the floor for cover. It was hard to tell if anyone was injured, even killed, as another round of thunderous bullets sounded. Objects shattered all around us, bullets puncturing them left and right. With a throbbing head and my vision blurred, I scurried behind a post, trying my best to calm my rapidly-beating heart.

Through some huddled patrons, I could see to my left that Connor and Tommy had taken cover behind adjacent booths, guns drawn in front of them. They both seemed as confused as I was, having no idea who was shooting at the bar and, verily, who to shoot _at_.

I then felt a rush of panic rip through my veins.

_Murphy. Oh God, where's Murphy?_

It was then that I felt myself being roughly tackled towards the ground. With the wind knocked out of me, I quickly gasped for air as I hit the floor. Peering between the tendrils of my mussed hair, I could see, with the help of what was left of the flickering lights, Kevin's concerned expression. Wrapping an arm around the small of my waist, he pressed me behind the bar as he screamed, "Lourdes, stay down, alright?" Gritting his teeth in anger and frustration, he wildly thrust his hand into his pocket in search of, what I assumed, a weapon.

I wasn't in any position to reject the protection that Kevin willingly and freely offered. Although I was still concerned for Murphy's safety, I closed my eyes and clung onto Kevin for dear life. Warmth and comfort immediately surrounded my body, and for a brief moment, I reveled in a period of safety. As the deafening shots began once more, I tightly gripped the front of his sweater and kept the side of my head buried upon his chest.

"It has to be Cillian," he deduced with a tightened jaw, peering down towards me. "I don't know how he found us, but I don't know who else would do something like this!" Finally finding his silencer, he ensued to expertly cock it with his arms still around my waist. Face softening for a moment, he quickly questioned, "…So did you like the song?"  
"Kevin –"

His small smirk suddenly disappeared as more bullets punctured the wooden bar. Their impact on the bar top ripped some shingles, which succeeded in sending a piece of oak upon Kevin's arm. With a curse, he dropped the gun in between us, momentarily immobile as pain coursed through him.

I didn't know whether it was annoyance or concern for the safety of everyone present in the pub, but whatever emotion was responsible, I found myself snatching the abandoned gun from the floor. I shook as I stared blankly at the weapon in my hand. Swallowing deeply, I mustered enough courage (or stupidity, rather), to slowly peer above the bar. Repeatedly pushing Kevin away as he began to pull me down in protest, I began to shoot at shadowed figures that were standing outside of the pub with their guns drawn and firing. I wasn't quite sure if I hit any of them, but for a passing moment, the gun shots halted.

Bullets suddenly penetrated the bar wall behind me. I let out a curt shriek as I cowered down to Kevin's side once more. Reflexively, I covered my head as a mélange of shattered glass and alcohol rained down upon me and Kevin. Hearing even more screams and the continuing discharge of guns, I resolved to gather my wits about me and shoot at the motherfuckers outside once more. Half-standing and half-squatting, I suddenly found myself frozen as I finally spotted Murphy across the establishment, directly in front of me.

He had his arms wrapped protectively around Fiona as they hid behind a booth.

With a hand on her head and the other upon her back, he held her closely and seemed to be attempting to calm her. Pressing his chin and lips upon her head, Murphy quickly drew his weapon from somewhere inside his pea coat, but never loosened his grip on Fiona.

Jealousy and annoyance coursed through my veins then. The activity in the room slowed, and the deafening sounds around me slowly began to fade into faint whispers. Was he even thinking of where the fuck _I_ was? Was he so busy trying to retaliate at whoever the fuck was doing this that he couldn't even look for _me_?

"Lourdes, watch out!"

Eyes flickering towards the entrance of the bar as I heard the warning, I spotted a masked man pointing a gun in my direction.

I heard a shot fire and felt myself falling to the ground.

Everything turned black.

3 3 3

**A/N****: Hope you enjoyed that and that it was up to par! Let me know what you think! Cheers! xx IFHD**


	11. Deconstruction

**A/N: First of all, I would like to thank you all for your patience with this story. I often lose inspiration for one story and thus begin a new one, and I must admit, I've been neglecting this one for quite a while. But I'm back with a vengeance!**

**Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter: dragonzfire718, ivyshortcake, Jade Opal, Saarah, alandava, betty-boo, CrimsonKissMJ, YumKiwiDelicious, A Hotter Kiss A Better Touch and RPStandByMeI'llStandByYou. Thanks also go out to those who saved this story to their favourites, alerts, and so on. Your continuing support is MUCH appreciated!**

**Hope you all enjoy this next one! xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 11: Deconstruction**

3 3 3

_**"This Is The Sound"**_

_**By: The Last Goodnight**_

_I let you in, just a little too close  
You shut the door, so nobody would know  
I know I heard a shot, on the fourteenth floor  
The music was raw, you really put on a show_

_This is where we are  
This is where we've been  
This is how I fall  
In love with you again_

_I had to say goodbye, before I said hello  
I saw you crash, and you took off your clothes_

_And this is the sound of a broken heart beating  
Almost died when I found your heart cheating  
I won't survive very much longer  
You got to keep this broken heart stronger_

_Where did I go wrong  
I can't be your friend  
After where we've been  
I can't see your face again_

_You leave your troubles at the door  
I feel we don't know what we're fighting for  
Feels like I'm a prisoner baby  
So hard when you have to fake it  
It hurts so much to feel love  
When you know you've got to break it_

_And this is the sound of a broken heart beating  
Almost died when I found your heart cheating  
I won't survive very much longer  
You got to keep this broken heart stronger_

_And this is the sound of a broken heart beating  
(where did I go wrong)  
Almost died when I found your heart cheating  
(I can't be your friend)  
I won't survive very much longer  
(after where we've been)  
You got to keep this broken heart stronger  
(I can't see your face again)_

_I fall for you again  
(I fall for you again)  
I fall for you again  
(I fall for you again)  
I fall for you again_

3 3 3

The echo of my own, raspy groan brought me, somewhat, back into consciousness. With the back of my head incessantly thumping and pieces of my thoughts swirling, it seemed as though it physically _hurt_ to attempt to recall what had just occurred in a matter of mere seconds. Forcing my stubborn eyelids to flutter open, I could finally make out the board ceiling of McGuinty's through blurred vision. As my languid stare sluggishly fell to my right, I caught sight of Tommy and Smecker, only a couple of meters from me and crouched over someone's idle body...

..._Kevin!_

The sound that subsequently erupted from my lips was a mixture of pain and panic as I struggled to sit up. Slightly feeling a velvety cushion beneath me, I then realized that I was on a makeshift bed, situated not too far from the cheese grater that was now the main bar. The trail of thick, crimson liquid upon the barely-visible hardwood floor triggered flashes of memories of what had just transpired. Fearing the worst, I fought the numbing pain that mercilessly enveloped my body and half-slid and half-crawled towards the three men.

My slightest of movements were enough to capture Tommy's attention. After shooting a perturbed glance at his brother's still form, he sprung to his feet in an instant and bolted towards my side. He crouched down beside me. The harsh expression plastered upon his countenance eased as he gave me a quick once-over, though his jaw remained tight as he spoke, "Good, you're awake. All I gotta do now is convince my hard-headed brother to go to the fuckin' hospital..."

"W-wait, what...what happened? How long have I been out?" I clutched the sleeve of his jacket amidst my panicked questions, both to help myself up from the ground and to prod him to give me some answers. I cringed. "How badly is Kevin hurt?"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down," he replied in a soothing tone, simultaneously attempting to ease my agitation and my iron grip upon his shirt. Although he probably thought that I needed more mental than physical help at the moment, he collectedly explained, "Kevin was only clipped on the top side of his right shoulder, so the good news is that the wound isn't _too_ deep." The green-eyed Irishman pursed his lips then, his eyes narrowing at the thought, "But I still can't convince him to get the hell outta here and get the wound checked. Smecker and I may be good at administering bandages and the like, but we ain't doctors..." He trailed off, scratching the back of his head in frustration. "And you," busily examining the back of my head with keen eyes, he placed a hand on my waist to help me sit up and leaned my back upon a booth, "you've probably been sleeping for an hour or so. It ain't a concussion, I reckon. You hit your head on the bar top right after Kevin shoved you outta the way of the shooters..."

At that precise moment, I knew that I owed Kevin my life.

With a renewed vigour, I slowly, albeit painfully, hopped to my feet. Automatically blocking out Tommy's hardened protests, I merely took his arm for guidance as I fought my way towards Kevin's horizontal form. Seeing that he, too, was wide awake and breathing, I flashed a grateful smile before kneeling down beside him. "I guess my gratitude goes out to you for being able to breathe right now," I began appraisingly, examining his bandaged shoulder with a wince.

Kevin raised an index finger, despite the pain that that action seemingly caused, and countered amidst my speech, "If it weren't for my pushing you, you wouldn't have hit your head on the bar top in the first place."

"Well," I pursed my lips thoughtfully, eyes rolling to add to the effect, "I think I'd rather hit my head on wood than get a bullet in my body any day. So, clumsy rescue attempt or not, it still worked," I smiled then, hoping to show him utmost sincerity, "and for that, I'm eternally grateful."

"You're welcome." Although he replied in a serious manner, a mischievous smile tugged upon the side of his lips, "So, now that you owe me for saving your life, does that mean I get what I want in return?"

Though I did not miss the bold implications of his latter query, I didn't have the opportunity to continue the banter, for Smecker then groaned beside us:

"Alright, Romeo, knock it the fuck off."

The detective subsequently gave Kevin a slap on his bandaged shoulder, verily, to add insult to injury; this caused the Donnelly to jerk upwards as pain jolted through his system. I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at Kevin's highly animated, mortified expression, reacting as though he would never even _dream_ of Smecker of being capable of doing such a thing to an injured man. Then, attempting to regain some of his pride, he snapped his agape mouth shut and muttered under his breath, "You're just jealous."

Smecker raised a cocky brow, poised to counter with, "Trust me, sweetheart, I can do _so much better_ than _you_." With a satisfied smirk that signalled the end of _that_ battle, his expression suddenly grew so serious that it filled me with dread. Cupping my elbow with an open palm, he helped me stand up straight before acting as the bearer of bad news. "Cillian and his cronies have resurfaced, alright," he began, motioning towards the utter warzone that was once a beautiful pub, "and somehow, they're onto the MacManuses _and_ the Donnellys." Then, as though expecting my next barrage of questions, he continued to explain, "Doc and the others evacuated as soon as it was safe to do so. Murphy and Connor – well, you know them – they're on another heroic stunt and went after the bastards." He heaved out a sigh, eyeing me with what seemed like sympathy. "Murph called a while back from his house and asked how you were doing." I perked up at this statement, but remained silent as the bitter memory of him protecting Fiona – instead of me - flashed through my mind. "I reassured him that you were just sleeping and that you'd be okay..." He rolled a hand, then placed both of his palms upon my shoulders. "If it's any consolation, I told the twins to meet me and the rest of the boys at the Station as soon as they are able. A wild, shooting rampage isn't going to cut it with Cillian and his bastards. We need a plan."

Jumping at the opportunity to contribute, I blurted, "I have a few ideas about how..."

Almost instantly, Smecker shook his head in disapproval. "You need to get home and get some rest first. Call me in the morning – then, we'll talk."

Although his curt dismissal stung, I knew that he was only reacting with my safety in mind. Now feeling the weight of fatigue hanging over me, I resolved to finally take Smecker's suggestion.

As part of the aftermath of the firefight, I didn't protest when Tommy offered to drive me to my desired destination: the MacManus household. Even though I wasn't entirely _pleased_ with Murphy at the moment, I knew that I would feel much safer if I had him by my side. The recent, negative events in our lives were definitely doing some damage to our relationship; though regardless of that, I felt in my heart that Murphy was always the one that I could turn to for anything.

As I said my farewells to Tommy, I made my way towards the MacManus front door. I felt a bit apprehensive as I noticed that it was slightly ajar. Neither Murphy nor Connor would ever even _think _of keeping their front door unlocked, let alone _open_. With a gulp, it took all of my courage to push the door and step through the threshold. Although half-expecting someone – or something – to appear and pounce at me, I was merely greeted with a dimly-lit living room where nothing seemed to be amiss.

Before I could call out either Murphy's name, I heard the faint sound of muffled, raised voices in the direction of his room. Instantly recognizing Murphy's irate voice, I brusquely made my way through an adjacent corridor, wholly nervous and confused about what was transpiring within his bedroom. Seeing a panel of light shining through the half-opened door, it was when I heard:

"But I still love you." Hurried footsteps sounded upon the wooden tiles. "What are you afraid of, Murphy? That you still feel the same way?"

Clenching my fists to my sides in raw anger, I immediately recognized the voice.

_Fiona_.

"Yer talkin' nonsense, ye know tha'? Leave tha past in tha past." Murphy retorted unkindly. Shuffling bags and more hasty footsteps greeted my ears. "Now, while yer 'ere, 'elp me get all o' this shite together so we can go ta tha Station an' meet with me brother an' Smecker. These sons o' bitches won't stop, so we need ta get our act together as soon as we can b'fore..."

Peeking my head slowly through the split between the door and the wall, I finally caught a glimpse of their two forms, frozen face to face in a standstill.

"You're changing the subject." Fiona replied as-a-matter-of-factly after a few passing moments. She clutched his arm in order to halt his hurried packing. Finally catching his gaze, she sternly questioned, emphasizing each word, "Do you still love me?"

No answer.

When Murphy continued to refuse to give her the answer she desired, Fiona tried a different route, catching his gaze with pleading eyes. "You loved me once, didn't you?"

"Things have changed." Rudely prying his arm away from her grasp, Murphy stepped away from her form and zipped the last of his bags closed. He growled in frustration, "I'm _engaged_, Fiona! Don't you know what that fuckin' means?"

"That doesn't answer my question." After a brief pause, she let out a sardonic laugh with a shake of her head. "But I must say, that fiancée of yours sure knows how to attract men. Who knew she could ever catch the eye of a Donnelly brother?" She took a step forward to enclose the remaining space between them. She finished with a snide comment, "Judging from what I witnessed tonight, that Kevin seems _quite_ smitten with your Lourdes, don't you agree?"

I snarled.

How convenient would a gun in my hand be right about now!

"Ye shut yer mouth!" Murphy barked in return, pointing a stern finger at her sloped nose before completely turning his back on her. Then, his tone lacked all the surety that his statement required when he hissed, "Ye don't know what tha fuck yer talkin' 'bout."

"Oh, I think I do." From behind him, Fiona slinked her arms around Murphy's trim torso, hands freely grazing up and down his chest and abdomen. Placing her cherry lips upon his neck and ear, she continued in a seductive whisper, "You're a smart man, Murphy MacManus. Don't tell me that you actually _believe_ that they haven't slept together yet after what you saw tonight with your own eyes?"

My heart ached in simultaneous hurt and anger at what was transpiring before me. Seeing Murphy's torn expression was enough to shatter my heart into a million pieces, to tear me up inside. Everything he had ever hidden from me became transparent at that very moment: the jealousy, confusion, and anger all beset his handsome countenance, turning him into someone that I could barely recognize. What hurt me most of all was that he actually _doubted_ me, that he suspected me of the ultimate betrayal. Where was the trust and confidence that I knew he harboured for my being and our relationship? Where have all those years of knowing one another, of knowing who I was through and through, gone? I felt the tears swell within my eyes as he exhibited his inner battle, eyes tightly closed, jaw clenching in rampant rage.

What followed was what I dreaded with the entirety of my being.

Slightly pulling away from his form, Fiona began to undress herself, undoing the side zipper of her red dress. Murphy kept his back towards her as she began to tug at the hem of his shirt and teasingly graze her lips upon his neck. Working her way around his body to fully face him, she captured his lips in hers, heavily breathing as she began to whimper in pleasure.

He made no move to neither reciprocate her advances nor push her away.

The sounds of kisses and ruffled clothing then beset my ears, increasing the constricting of my heart and the punching sensation in my gut. I was mute, immobile, and felt entirely faint. Holding the doorframe in order to keep my balance – or consciousness – I forced myself to look at the two figures before me through blurred vision once more.

"You don't need to doubt _my_ feelings for you, Murphy. My heart is all _yours_." Inclining her head and eyeing him wantonly, Fiona tugged upwards at Murphy's shirt, forcing him to lift his arms so she could unclothe him. Murphy only stared at her blankly, face devoid of emotion, as she began to kiss his chest and abdomen and work on the buckle of his belt.

I saw something snap within Murphy's eyes.

Suddenly grasping her by the upper arms, he pulled her upwards; they now stood, face to face, once more. Then, burying his lips upon hers, he scooped her up in his arms, stalking with purpose towards his bed. Gracelessly throwing her upon it, he instantly mounted her in a primal fashion, hastily attempting to unclasp her bra. As Murphy greedily kissed her neck and chest in furious abandon, Fiona only laughed in glee, wrapping her legs around his hips. Screaming and arching her head back in utter pleasure, she closed her eyes at the sensation, revelling in the feeling of Murphy's body and touch.

There was only so much that I could take before blind rage erupted within me. Shoving the door open in a maniacal fashion, I finally made myself visible to the two of them. The sudden crash of the door upon the side wall instantly caught their attentions and froze them in their positions. Then, as he jerked upwards at the sight of me, Murphy instantly dismounted Fiona, heavily cursing to himself and running his fingers through his mussed hair. Fiona's mouth was wide and agape in sheer disbelief, face ashen as though she were seeing a ghost. As she attempted to cover her shame in my unexpected presence, Murphy closed his eyes tightly and lowered his head, slamming his hand in frustration upon the wall.

Only my light footsteps were audible within the room. I calmly stood in front of Murphy's form as I hissed, with hurt raw and deep within my voice:

"I hope you're fuckin' happy."

3 3 3

**A/N: Ohhhhhhhh dear. Hope you all liked that one! xx IFHD**


	12. Broken

**A/N: Well, I'm back! I really don't know how long it has been since I've updated this story, but I know it must've been _ages_(I just checked. It's literally almost been 2 years. Holy crap!). Life happens, you know? ;) Well, I know you're all clamouring to see what happens next, so here it is. To be honest, it's been so long since I've written this story that I had to re-read it all over again. I found my notes from so long ago and somewhat remember where I wanted to go with it. I can't promise I'll continue working on it since I'm occupied with my other fic, "What Binds Us," and a billion other things, but after re-reading the previous chapter, I thought it was terrible that the story ended the way it did. So, I wrote this chapter randomly one day, listening to really hard rock music while I was doing so. Probably shows in the writing. LOL Hope you all like it. Let me know what you think. Thank you SO much for your reviews and your support over the years. You're all my inspiration. =) Enjoy! xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 12: Broken**

3 3 3

"_**How Could An Angel Break My Heart"**_

_**By: Toni Braxton and Babyface**_

_I heard he sang a lullaby_

_I heard he sang it from his heart_

_When I found out thought I would die_

_Because that lullaby was mine_

_I heard he sealed it with a kiss_

_He gently kissed her cherry lips_

_I found that so hard to believe_

_Because his kiss belonged to me_

_How could an angel break my heart?_

_Why didn't he catch my falling star?_

_I wished I didn't wish so hard_

_Maybe I wished our love apart_

_How could an angel break my heart?_

_I heard her face was white as rain_

_(Your face is white as rain)_

_Soft as a rose that blooms in May_

_(Soft as a rose in May)_

_He keeps her picture in a frame_

_(I keep your picture)_

_And when he sleeps he calls her name_

_(I only call out your name)_

_I wonder if she makes him smile_

_(She doesn't make me smile)_

_The way he used to smile at me_

_(I only smile at you)_

_I hope she doesn't make him laugh_

_(She doesn't make me laugh)_

_Because his laugh belongs to me_

_(My laugh belongs to you)_

_How could an angel break my heart?_

_(You are my heart)_

_Why didn't he catch my falling star?_

_(I will catch your star)_

_I wished I didn't wish so hard_

_(Don't wish so hard)_

_Maybe I wished our love apart_

_(Love falls apart)_

_How could an angel break my heart?_

_(Your tender heart)_

_Oh (my love)_

_My (I know that)_

_Soul (I know your)_

_Is (is dying)_

_Dying (I know your soul is crying)_

_It's crying (I know that you've been dying)_

_I'm trying (trying)_

_To understand_

_Please help me (please help me)_

_How could an angel break my heart?_

_(I'd never break your heart)_

_Why didn't he catch my falling star?_

_(I'd catch your falling star)_

_I wished I didn't wish so hard_

_(You never wished too hard)_

_Maybe I wished our love apart_

_(We're not apart)_

_How could an angel break my heart?_

_(Oooh yeah)_

3 3 3

I didn't heed Murphy's speech beside me. His voice was a mere whisper, almost nonexistent at this point. Instead, I took purposeful steps towards the bed, striding towards the wide-eyed, cowering Fiona. As her blue eyes flashed in panic toward Murphy's form in order to silently elicit some form of protection - to which she received no response - I maniacally gripped her curled hair in my fingers, ensuing to drag her half-naked form from Murphy's bed.

The bed that _I_ shared with him.

Surprisingly, she managed to collect her wits for a moment and retaliate, promptly dealing the side of my face a harsh slap. Although the blow was strong enough to snap my face a good deal to the side, I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. The rage boiling within me allowed me to instantly recover, twisting my head, covered in my disheveled hair, to face the bitch once more. With a swift swing, I threw my clenched fist upon her face with full force, dealing her a somewhat gratifying blow. With a tear-filled cry of pain, I heard the distinct crack of her nose as she fell backwards, slightly crashing into a nearby chair during her descent. I pushed away the pain emanating from my throbbing, bleeding knuckles, roughly grabbing her once more by the hair and repeating the swinging motion again. And again.

And again.

_Agent __my __fucking__ ass_.

_I didn't need special training to beat someone senseless out of violent rage._

I only released her when I felt Murphy's arms coiling tightly around me and pulling me back. I saw a tinge of fear in his eyes, most likely due to the fact that I was undoubtedly going to keep causing more remorseless, unbridled damage on the wailing Fuckface, subsequently earning her a concussion - or worse. Roughly attempting to escape the MacManus' grip around my form, I boomed towards Fiona, eyes ablaze, "You shoot your mouth off with lies about me again, and I won't hesitate to break your fuckin' nose - along with your other body parts - a second time, you fuckin' slut! You fuckin' _hear_ me?"

She only replied with sobs and erratic breaths as she covered her face with an open palm. Murphy wrapped his arms around me even more tightly when he felt me step forward. With a scowl and squinted eyes, he rightly yelled, "Fiona, get yer fuckin' clothes on an' get the fuck outta 'ere! _Now_!"

The woman, who hastily did as she was ordered to do, was forgotten now. As Fiona sprinted out of the room, hair flying behind her and blood dripping from her face, my anger then focused upon Murphy. With all the strength within my possessed being, I whirled around to face him, unlocking his arms. Without restraint evident in my form, I sent my open palm flying across his face, violently snapping his head to the side. "How _dare_ you even _touch_ me!" I hissed, shoving him upon the chest to push him completely from my body. He wouldn't lift his head to meet the daggers that I shot from my eyes. Instead, he kept his head twisted to the left, gaze fixated at nothing in particular.

Emotionless. Blank.

Afraid that I was going to act upon my heightened emotions and do something more that I would regret, without another word, I pulled the door of his bedroom wide open and stalked towards the entrance of their condominium.

_**Flashback**_

_"Lourdes?" My mother lightly called out to me as her head curiously peered into my bedroom. Her brows furrowed as she inquired, "Lourdes, honey, I thought you were going out with your mates?"_

_My lips lightly quivered at the thought. "The only mates I want to be with right now are Murphy and Connor. But they're gone, mom." Tears began to form upon the brims of my eyes, threatening to fall in steady rivulets down my cheeks. I clenched my fists tightly at my sides, holding in a sob with a sharp intake of breath. "And I'll never see them again."_

_It was a week after the MacManus brothers had left for Boston. Admittedly, all I did was cry that morning, and I was exhausted. Murphy and Connor wouldn't be here to see me cry and make fun of me, anyway, I thought to myself. Wincing at my own stupidity, this thought subsequently elicited even more tears from my being. They left me, and did so abruptly; their absence hit me pretty hard, particularly during the first few days. No more stupid banters. No more crazy stunts._

_No more Murphy and Connor._

_With a slight frown as she perceived my expression, my mother tried to reassure me, "You'll see them again, darling." She embraced me tightly now, her chin upon my head. "I promise, you will."_

_I returned the embrace, my silent tears soaking her shoulder. "How do you know that, mom?"_

_She pulled back for a moment, her light eyes searching my own. "For one, I'm always right. Second, that's what airplanes are for." She grinned when she saw me crack a small smile. Her jesting tone grew more serious as she pinched my chin in between her index finger and thumb. "The same thing happened with your father and me when we were younger, you know? I mean, we're still young, but…you know what I mean…" She cleared her throat. "He would always be travelling, sometimes unannounced, and I never knew when he would be back. But I always had faith, always clung to hope that we would see each other again soon. I was unhappy without him, Lourdes, unhappy that he left me alone; but I was content with the fact that I knew that he was alive, somewhere in the world, thinking of me and missing me, too. There are some people in the world who will always cross paths; you might not know when, or where, but you will. And there will be hard times, Lourdes - trust me, there will be - but keep your faith that Destiny knows what she's doing..." I met her eyes once more as she kissed my forehead lightly. "…and never lose hope. Ever."_

_**End Flashback**_

"Lourdes! Lourdes!"

I didn't heed Murphy's calls. I refused to. _Sorry,__ Ma, __but __Destiny__'__s __being __a __right __bitch __at__ the__ moment.__ No __faith __in __her __at __this __point_. I continued to stalk my way through the condominium, not even caring to ensure that I had all my belongings with me.

Losing material possessions could never amount to what I had lost a few moments ago.

All I wanted was to _leave_, and to do so immediately. My body and mind had grown so numb that I didn't even register the tears streaking down my face or regarded my bleeding, probably broken, knuckles. I received a few curious looks from bystanders as I passed, but ensured not to make eye contact with any of them. The feelings within me were so volatile at the moment that I was sure that it would only take one wrong look to cause me to snap once more.

And then they'd see what the wrath of an angered woman truly looked like.

As I traversed the deserted parking lot, I felt a strong hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back. Murphy's pleading tone sounded behind me. "Lourdes, will ye fuckin' let me explain?"

I didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to leave. Leave this building.

Leave Boston.

The Irishman halted his steps, clinging to my form by my upper arms. Clinging to whatever hope there was left within the dimly-lit garage. I relented momentarily and managed to finally look at his countenance; it was full of pain, but not the kind of pain that I had seen when he was gravely injured, or even _shot_. The emotions that manifested on his expression were conjured from the recesses of his soul, his dark eyes exploding with a mixture of panic, guilt, and remorse. Although the unbridled upset remained within me, the words that escaped my lips were in a deceivingly hushed, calm tone. "Get. Your hands. Off me." Not even bothering to wipe the cascading tears trailing down my face, I desperately attempted to pull away from Murphy's form once more. His touch burnt me now, burnt me so deeply that I felt as though my skin was singed everywhere.

His body screamed of desperation. "It's not what ye think, Lourdes," he managed to croak out, his grip tightening.

I couldn't even _believe_ that Murphy would even _think_ of pulling this shit on me. "Bullshit! All bullshit! I saw what you were doing with my own two eyes. I saw and heard _everything_, so don't even bother to fuckin' deny any of it!" I punched at his chest with clenched fists though found my energy quickly drained. I sobbed through gritted teeth, "Even a fuckin' idiot would've pieced together that you _cheated_ on me, Murphy! You fuckin'…_cheated_ on me!"

And that killed me more than a bullet to the head ever could.

Murphy's chest visibly heaved up and down, as though his oxygen was no longer in supply, as raging tears cascaded down his face. "Ye don't understand…"

"What's there to understand, Murphy? Huh?" I wrapped my arms around me in a feeble attempt to elicit some warmth and comfort. I found absolutely none.

Murphy couldn't answer the question. Instead, after a few passing moments, he retaliated with, "What about what ye did with Connor?" Eyes ablaze at the memory, he finally released me, as though my skin had burnt him. "Do ye know how much that hurt me? How much it took for me to forgive ye?"

"We weren't together! _You_ left _me_, remember?" How could he even _think_ of trying to inflict more blame, more pain, on me at this moment? Did he want to do it to try and make _himself_ feel better about what he did? As my patience reached its threshold, I vigorously gripped the front of his shirt and snarled, "And don't you fuckin' use that against me to justify what you just did. If you're going to point fingers, point it in the fuckin' mirror."

He lightly pushed my arm away from his form, releasing himself from my grasp, and cried out, "Can ye look at me straight in the eyes and honestly tell me that ye've done _nothin__'_ with Kevin Donnelly, that ye feel nothin' for 'im?"

"I haven't, and I don't feel anything for him!" I cried exasperatedly, visibly emanating all of the pain I felt in my being. I proclaimed, "I have _never_ cheated on you, physically, mentally, emotionally. Why? Because I love _you_ and only you, Murphy!"

Murphy's expression completely transformed then; contortion was replaced with realization, and more tears escaped his eyes. He abruptly cupped my face in the palms of his hands, drawing me closer. "I'm sorry I didn't trust ye, Lourdes, I…"

I stepped back, clenching my jaw. "And instead of telling me how you felt and what you thought, you decided that sleeping with Fiona would make it better?"

No answer.

"I left my old life, Murphy, left everything behind. Moved here for _you_. Did everything that I could to make you happy, made all of these sacrifices, accepted your line of work despite the fact that I can barely sleep or focus whenever you're on a job…all because of my love for you." I scoffed, thinking myself a fool now. "If you didn't want any of this anymore, if you didn't want _me_ anymore, you could've at least just fucking said so."

Years of happiness, friendship, and love all undone with a single act of betrayal.

_Fuck__ you,__ Destiny._

_ Fuck you and your little dog, too._

Even in the midst of everything that had happened already, I could barely believe what I subsequently did.

This was probably the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.

"I can forgive the fights. The times that you risk your life for a job. The times when I'm alone, worrying about whether you would come home or not. But this? I can't." Slipping the engagement ring off my finger, I held it tightly in my grasp. I clenched my fist so tightly that the diamond dug into the palm of my hand, almost cutting through skin. Opening my hand and staring at the sparkle of the jewel and the pure gold of its band, I felt that the promise that it represented was now empty. That it was now a lie. Turning my face away from Murphy's incredulous stare as I outstretched my arm, I croaked lightly, "Here. Take this back."

Murphy furrowed his brows as his face scrunched with emotion, taking a desperate, pleading step to enclose the space between us. His voice quivered. "Lourdes, ye can't be…"

"Take it back!" I snapped more forcefully, shoving the ring upon his chest. I could barely speak or stand at this point, my entire body shaking through and through. "It's over, Murphy."

"Lourdes, ye can't possibly mean that." I couldn't meet Murphy's imploring eyes as he gripped my arms once more. He lightly shook me. "Ye _know_ that I love ye and only ye!"

Inclining my head to reach his eyes, I shakily stated, unrelenting, "We're done."

3 3 3

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed that! After two years, it was probably time to update, anyway. XD xx IFHD**


	13. Shattered Pieces

**A/N: Hey everyone! I do apologize for not updating this story as regularly as I had used to, but I've been so busy doing other things that I lost my muse for a bit! But since you were all enjoying the story and wanted me to continue, and because I was so happy to be going to Harvard University for - wait for it - a Creative Writing course, I excitedly looked through my notes and wanted to try writing it again. It might seem a bit rushed as I am leaving for England in the morning, but I think I know where I want to take this story now and have done a good deal of "setting up". =) Thank you to Niffer01, gurl3677, Dannie_Tomlinson, musicforsanity, Lamminator, MulishaMaiden, ItalianBreadstick, yournadz, LuccDudee, toysandguns, Ann, Cassy, julen, Haven14, and WhisperInTheRain for the reviews and to you for continuing to support this story! Let's hope I can continue it soon. =) xx IFHD**

3 3 3

**Chapter 13: Shattered Pieces**

3 3 3

"_**Everything We Had"**_

_**By: The Academy Is**_

_You were the only face I'd ever known.  
I was the light from the lamp on the floor,  
and only as bright as you wanted me to be.  
But I am no gentleman, I can be a prick,  
and I do regret more than I admit.  
You have been followed back to the same place  
I sat with you drink for drink.  
Take the pain out of love, and then love won't exist._

_Everything we had, everything we had,  
everything we had, everything we had  
Is no longer there._

_It was the only place I'd ever known.  
Turned off the light on my way out the door.  
I will be watching wherever you go,  
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.  
You have been followed back to the same place  
I sat with you drink for drink.  
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist._

_Everything we had, everything we had,  
everything we had, everything we had  
Is no longer there, longer there._

_Well, you saw for yourself, the way it played out.  
For you, I am blinded.  
For you, I am blinded, for you._

_I am no gentleman, I can be a prick.  
And I do regret more than I admit.  
You have been followed back to the same place  
I sat with you drink for drink.  
Take the pain out of love, and then love won't exist._

_Everything we had, everything we had,  
(you have been followed, you have been followed.)  
everything we had, everything we had.  
(you have been followed, you have been followed.)  
Everything we had, everything we had,  
(you have been followed, you have been followed.)  
everything we had..._

_I'll be with you wherever you go,  
through the eyes of a fly on the wall._

3 3 3

I couldn't see or think clearly. Hell, I couldn't even remember the last time that I had seen or thought clearly. Seeking comfort in sleep and bottles of Jameson whiskey, I apathetically allowed the minutes, hours, and days to pass me by; happiness was all but a fleeting memory, and it seemed as though sanity was not far behind.

_What day is it?_

I didn't even know. The only time that I could discern day and night was when I sometimes managed to peer outside of my window.

Memories of Murphy and what had passed between us would periodically invade my thoughts, only to be quickly suppressed by what was left of my will. No. He wouldn't cause me any more hurt.

He'd done enough damage already.

After several days had elapsed, and after having had no contact with the outside world whatsoever, I heard the distinct knock on my door. I stared blankly towards the muffled sound, as though my mind were having difficulty registering what was happening. After a few moments of silence, I decided to ignore the visitor; however, the knocking came again, more forceful and deliberate this time. I rolled to the other side of the bed, burying my face upon the pillow. When the knocking became incessant, occurring non-stop after five minutes, my irritation finally claimed the best of me. Slugging my way towards the door, I warily looked through the peephole. I quickly relaxed as I caught a glimpse of Connor's shifting head. Unlocking my door and opening it widely, I flatly greeted, "Hi."

"Ye look like shite." Eyebrows immediately raising at the sight of my disheveled, deteriorating state, the cheeky Irishman commented lightly, "Alright, who are ye an' what 'ave ye done with Lourdes?"

"Fuck off." I replied in a monotone voice. Seeing as Connor wasn't making a move to leave, I finally resolved to step aside and allow the bewildered MacManus in.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ! Would ye look at the state o' this place?" Randomly perusing through my belongings and taking a cursory glance through the main room, Connor ruffled his spiked hair. Scoffing in disbelief, he exclaimed in all seriousness, "Lourdes, there are pigsties cleaner than this! The hell ye doin', livin' in a right shit'ole?"

Crossing my arms in annoyance, I snapped, "Okay, Con. Did you come here to specifically insult me and my current living preferences or is there another purpose to your kind and unannounced visit?"

"I heard that ye 'aven't been ta work all week, and that no one has seen ye for just as long. Ye wouldn't answer any of me calls either." He stated sternly, plopping down on my couch. "I was worried, so I decided to check up on ye." When he heard a distinct squeak, he scrunched his handsome face in confusion. Plucking something from underneath his arse, he held out the object that he had found in front of my face. He gave it a little squeeze. "A rubber ducky?"

"Give me that!" I snarled through clenched teeth, snatching the squeaking toy from his fingers. "I had to babysit my neighbour's kid last week, alright?"

He languidly fell back upon the seat, arms coolly laid out upon the back of the couch. He threw me a twisted smirk. "If that's yer story." Blatantly ignoring my wary stare, he continued nonchalantly, "But I'm glad ta see yer alive, no matter what state yer in. Ye'd probably be 'appy ta hear tha' the partnership with the Donnelly brothers is goin' well." He paused, pursing his lips. "Well, at least me an' Tommy. Murph and Kev, well, ye probably know how they are." A genuine smile appeared. "But we've been gatherin' intel and makin' some hits. Every day, we're closer ta findin' Cillian an' every one o' his bastards in Boston. I know that it'll only take a few more days before…"

Connor's voice quickly began to fade as a cold chill ran down my spine at the thought of them risking their lives _again_. When will this ever end?

Would it ever end?

It bothered me that Connor was so…_excited_ about all of this. Did the MacManus brothers ever take their eyes of their goal, to look at the peripheries…to consider the people who cared about them?

I let out an exasperated sigh, holding out a hand for him to cease his speech. Taking a seat beside him, I stated with a tightened jaw, "Listen, Connor. I'm glad that you're safe and alive, but I'm not in the mood for this right now, alright?" With the satisfied smile immediately dissipating from his countenance, he threw me a nod of understanding. I momentarily closed my eyes. "You probably know what happened between Murphy and me last week, and I appreciate you trying to…"

"No. What?" Connor's brows furrowed, forehead crinkling. "What happened between ye and me brother?"

"Connor, I broke off the engagement." My heart constricted as the words flowed from my lips. "He cheated on me with Fiona."

"_What_?" His eyes searchingly met my own, looking for further explanation. "Murphy never said anythin' ta me about this. Even when we were makin' our hits, he said absolutely nothin' an' went about as though nothin' were wrong." His head shook. "I mean, he kept quiet most o' the time, and barely ate and slept, but I… Fuck, I'm a terrible twin!" He placed a comforting hand upon my shoulder as he attempted to calm his own disbelief. "I can't believe that he'd keep that from me, Lourdes. If I had known, I would've come ta visit ye sooner an'…"

I shrugged, feeling the aching of my heart and the mist forming within my eyes. "There's nothing really left to say about it, Connor. He cheated on me, and I saw it with my own eyes."

"Lourdes, I know me brother better than anyone, an' no matter what ye saw an' what he did, he cares about ye." His bright blue eyes seemed to plead with me. "If he couldn't even talk ta _me_ 'bout what happened, I know tha' he feels guilty an' remorseful about all o' this." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, forcing me to look straight into his eyes, as he proclaimed without hesitation, "He _loves ye_, Lourdes, with all o' his heart. He may have fucked up, but it doesn't change the way he feels about ye."

My rising emotions were due in part to the hope that was ignited by what Connor so easily professed; however, they were also due in part to the anger that _Murphy_ wasn't the MacManus twin before me, declaring all of these words in my presence. But how was I to hope that Murphy would be doing such a thing if he hadn't even attempted _once_ to contact me since that night? What would he have me think, believe?

"How am I ever going to trust him again?" I was crying now, unable to retain my composure in front of Connor. I attempted to quickly wipe the rivulets of tears down my cheeks with the back of my hand. "If he can do this to me once, don't you think he can do it again?"

Connor paused for a moment, then shook his head. "I don't think he was thinkin' straight, Lourdes. He said that this MacManus-Donnelly alliance, Cillian and his cronies, ye bein' caught in the crossfire, and the possibility of ye havin' feelings for Kevin Donnelly...that it was all too much for him." He paused, then admitted with a lowered head, "This shite is almost too much for _me_, and _I_ don't even 'ave ta deal with a woman!"

Even though I could discern the humour in his voice, I shook him from my form, standing. "Please stop making excuses for your brother, Connor. How do you think I felt? How do you think I'm _feeling_?" I drilled my finger upon my heart, narrowing my eyes. "I worry about the both of you day and night, wonder what dangers you so willingly put yourselves through daily. I always think about you two risking your lives even when I don't want to. Then, I'm faced with this new home, this new job, this new _life_! Do you know how hard it is for me to adjust to all of these things when Murphy is barely even by my side? And then here comes Fiona, who seemed to always scheme and plot to somehow get her way with Murphy. Look what happened!" I seemed hysterical now as my unbridled anger unrelentingly fought its way to the surface. All of the feelings that I had locked up inside the entire week emanated from my being. "I _never_ cheated on Murphy, nor would I ever. _That's_ love, Connor. That's love."

Connor was rendered speechless at this point. He seemed to be deliberating exactly why he said what he did. Was he really trying to mend the rift between Murphy and me assured of those facts about his brother, or was he merely explicating what he _hoped_ Murphy was thinking and feeling? Did he _really_ understand what was going on between us, or were his thoughts all hypotheses? Slowly standing from the couch to face me, Connor croaked, "I don't know what ta say, Lourdes. I really don't. And I'm sorry."

"You don't have to say anything or apologize, Connor." I replied simply, hugging myself in order to elicit some warmth. "You weren't the one who hurt me."

"Did he even try to call ye or come an' see ye 'bout all o' this?"

"No. Not once."

Before he could reply, the sudden shrill of the telephone made the both of us jump. Through my hesitation, I perceived Connor eagerly motioning for me to take the call; it seemed as though he shared my hope that it was Murphy on the other end of the line. Finally relenting, I slowly took the phone in my grasp, took a deep breath, then placed the receiver upon my ear. My heart began to pace quicker. "Hello?"

"Lourdes…Lourdes it's me."

Furrowing my brows, I stood up even straighter. Connor eyed me curiously, placing a hand upon my shoulder. I gave my head a dejected shake. "Hi, Ma. What is it? What's wrong?"

The static of the phone and the background noise behind her almost made it impossible for me to hear what she was saying. Her voice shook, almost as though it took much effort for her to utter anything. "Lourdes, I'm here with the _Garda_…they found him lying there at the…God have mercy on me, Lourdes, he's…"

Panic quickly arose within me at this point, hearing the distress in her voice. "Ma, slow down. I can't hear you properly." As my worried eyes connected with Connor's, I gripped his arm with my free hand as I continued, "Ma, what did you say?"

"Yer Da's dead, Lourdes." She wailed in utter pain, sobbing, "He was murdered."


End file.
